Fake News Goes For The Kill Shot

A careful perusal of the Constitution has revealed that the power to declare the victor in a presidential election has been relegated to anti-American news networks in exactly zero cases, going back to...oh, wait, 

...EVER.

Nice try, SeeBS, but no cigar.

While you're up, you can tell the rest of  the gang at ABCNNBCBS not to waste their time.

"Calling" a presidential election, where obvious fraud is apparent from satellites in space, when every state in contention is being referred to federal court, is reckless and irresponsible.

Which last two words, it should go without saying, have been the motto and corporate policy in all media nationwide since at least 2015.

You attention-whore Democratic shills, pining to be the story rather than merely telling the story, have all been fake news for decades, and you didn't graduate to "legitimate" today just because you cheered on rampant election stealing in broad daylight.

But by taking a partisan side non-stop for the last four years, at least, you're forever forfeited any claim to any shred of independent observer status, and now number among the ranks of the combatants - and we mean that in a Geneva Convention sort of way, lest you be in any doubt whatsoever - by your own choices, ratified over and over, time and time again, beyond number. There are iron-hard consequences to that. Some of them are rhetorical. Some of them, rest assured, will be corporeal. In a neck-rope-handy tree sort of way, and likely sooner than later. Mark my words.

Don't gasp, look shocked, nor clutch your pearls. You shilled and pimped for a banana republic here in the U.S. for a generation and more. Now you've almost got one within your grasp. Consult your colleagues in the same field working in actual ones, from Tijuana to Tierra del Fuego, and ask them about life expectancies in your career field under the sort of conditions you've cheerfully set in motion here. When you reap what you've sown, expect a full zero f##ks will be given by anyone else about what happens to you. No small number will think it too lenient, too little, and too late, if you only end up hanging, headless, from overpasses. Most of you will think it a mercy if it's only pliers and blowtorches, and getting medieval on your @$$#$. And with any luck, social media will record the video for posterity, so you can finally achieve the center stage you sought so hard, and for so long. And for bonus points, probably half of that will be dealt out by the communists you've empowered. Win-win, right?

So your total frothing complicity, and indeed active and full-throated abettance of, this monstrous grand theft is noted. The American people have a memory like an elephant. And a sense of justice and fair play about as subtle as a guillotine. You'd all best set your affairs in order. It's going to be a long, cold winter. And most of you won't live to see the sun come out again in your lifetime.

Besides, it isn't like your ilk have never done this sort of thing before, and bungled the call.

Even Obozo Wasn't This Stupid

Let's be serious though. Like Shrills would take the warm-bucket-of-spit job to run with a guy who's polling at less than 3%, and has less chance of getting nominated to run for president than the Harvey Weinstein/Bill Cosby ticket.

This has to be either National Lampoon or The Onion, trolling ABCNNBCBS, or else George Stephanopolopolopolopolous and Michael Moore drunk-texting NPR and MSNBC after splitting a case of bad tequila.

Reliability Factor: 1
Comedy factor: 11

Science Really Is A Bitch Like That

h/t Liberty's Torch

So, today, we read this latest bit of scientism and Globull Warmist theology, excerpted over at Fran Porretto's place, and hailing from that bastion of scientific accuracy, TIME Magazine :

The problem with MDIs is not carbon dioxide (the most common greenhouse gas), but rather methane, which represents a far smaller share of greenhouse emissions, but a much more powerful one, with up to 84 times the heat-trapping power of CO2. Even the least polluting inhaler was found to emit methane at levels equal to up to 10 kg (22 lbs.) of carbon dioxide into the air over the course of its 200-puff lifetime.

Fran was more worried about what this means for the next target of the Warmist Cult (asthmatics), but I was more struck by the breathtaking scientific stupidity it takes to pen such thorough-going codswallop.

I realize that J-school grads spent about four minutes in science class back when they were 8 or 10 years old, and probably even less time adequately learning how to do math beyond the second grade level, but this level of ox-stunning professional jackassical stupidity is simply beyond the pale.

Listening to most all of the media attempt science and math is like giving a class of retarded kids the keys to a lot full of heavy construction equipment, only less responsible. When you can get better scientific understanding from MAD Magazine than TIME Magazine, the latter is charging too much per issue, and should be printed on Charmin to provide some bare utility.

Point of order, kids:

Humor me for but a moment.
An asthmatic's MDI weighs 4 to 6 ounces.
Including the metal container.

Now, I realize the Globull Warmist Cult Religion makes Scientology appear to be on a far firmer foundation with regard to both religion and science, by contrast, but physics being physics, and the First Law Of Thermodynamics being kind of a bitch when it comes to pulling matter (or more precisely, energy) out of your tailpipe, I put it to anyone with an IQ north of 75:

You can't get 22 pounds of methane out of a 6 ounce inhaler (nor the "functional equivalent" of 22 pounds of CO2, nor anything like), no matter how much handwaving you try, no matter how many goats' entrails you read, and no matter how many virgins you sacrifice to the Globull Warmist Volcano. Not even if you're Rumplestiltskin, and can spin straw into gold.

It's simply beyond ridiculous, skipping right to recockulous.
In fact, the recockulous meter is pegged all the way to the peg beyond Level 11 of Ludicrous on the dial, and cannot be measured with existing instrumentation. Even with the nitrous phlogiston boost and a flux capacitor operating the hyperdrive on pure dilithium crystals.

In short, 22 pounds of methane weighs, y'know, 22 effing pounds, you lying jackholes.
This is why the English language cleverly uses different words for 22 pounds, versus for 6 ounces.

And even if we granted TIME's "84 times" stat, the entire MDI would have to be a solid BLOCK of methane, with no room left for plastic, metal, other gasses, and - not to put too fine a point on it - ASTHMA MEDICINE. So, you can believe TIME Magazine's recockulous claims.
Or your lying eyes.

And FTR, you emit more methane than "the equivalent of 22 pounds of CO2" into the atmosphere every time you turn on a natural gas stove, between the time you dial up the gas, and when the pilot or electrical spark striker sets it on fire. You go figure out if it's more likely there are more gas burners than asthmatics on the planet.

(And if you guessed the next line of Warmist Climastrology is that "Cooking food is killing the planet!", go to the head of the class.)

In actual fact, every human being emits more methane than is contained in an MDI every time they fart, and the average human breaks winds 10-20 times a day (no matter what your wife or girlfriend tells you). Even more if you eat beans and herd cattle.

Which leads the Climastrology Cult to really be about global genocide, to save the planet.
Just like you suspected.

If this obvious scientific and linguistic reality is news to anyone, they should beat their heads against a solid rock wall until the matter makes itself clear.

Which leads us to ask of TIME Magazine, in particular their so-called editorial staff (where Science is concerned, going back only to about Edison's invention of the light bulb, if such were possible):

No other explanation accords with reality so handily.

Thanks for your time.

(Thermodynamics, asthma, math, Blazing Saddles, and Charles Laughton all in one post: this job ain't for amateurs, kids.)

Planetary Intelligence Is A Constant; Population Is Increasing

h/t Kenny

Behold, the dangers of listening to the horseshit they put in the Washington Compost, and mistaking it for factual information:

Falls remain the leading cause of fatal and nonfatal injuries for older Americans. Hospitals face financial penalties when they occur. Nurses and aides get blamed or reprimanded if a patient under their supervision hits the ground.

But hospitals have become so overzealous in fall prevention that they are producing an “epidemic of immobility,” experts say.

This is easily solved.

Waive all your rights to sue in case of a fall, accept full responsibility for all injury and damages in writing, including to any other parties, and consent to binding arbitration with capped damages, and we can talk.

Refuse, and you're full of shit, and your ass can stay in the wheelchair, or in the bed with the siderails up. Once you're back in your house, you can play by any rules you damned well please, as it should be, okay? But in my house, it's my rules. Fair is fair.

If you make it past that hurdle (literally) we can talk about mandatory drug and alcohol testing (because people lie, pretty much 75% of the time, about that), and about how many people got to the hospital because they fell at home in the first place, and were too stubborn and stupid to use things like a light switch, their eyeglasses, walkers, canes, crutches, etc., and are now lined up for a shiny new titanium hip to replace their new three-piece femur, because they had to get to the bathroom right this minute, in the dark.

Last night's genius wanted to be released, despite being drunk at 3-4X the legal limit, and not able to recollect how he ended up on his face in the street, right up until the CT revealed he had a major brain bleed. Pull the other one, Einstein, it has bells on it.

I had one lady, brought in because she was too weak to get up for seven hours after a fall at home, tell me she was leaving. I told her to go ahead. And waited. And waited. She could barely raise her voice, let alone her body.

Look, I get that it's frustrating when your 60-, 70-, or 80-year old body doesn't act like it does in your still-18-year-old head. But it isn't my job to mollycoddle your weak grasp on reality. It is my job to make sure I don't have to explain - or lose my license and livelihood - for why you're on the floor of your room on your ass, especially when you're frail, feeble, confused, broken, or on narcotic medications. If you could do Gene Kelly's "Singin' In The Rain" with full choreography, you wouldn't be in the hospital, now would you, smartypants?

This is on my bucket list. But not as a patient in the hospital.

"Patients are idiots" should be carved in stone above the hospital front door, because they won't let me wear a button that says DLTDHYITAOYWO. (I'll help out: "Don't Let The Door Hit You..." work the rest out yourself.)

And hockey pants with pads, and crash helmets should be mandatory attire after age 70.
You tell me which is sillier; dressing that way, or those neat-o zipper scars on your hips, and 6-9 months of OT/PT learning to walk again in your 70s and 80s. If you don't fail, stay in the hospital endlessly, get pneumonia and twenty other opportunistic infections, and then just die.
Because in case you didn't notice, you don't bounce as well as you did when you were five or ten years old.

When someone tells me that 98% of tort lawyers are literally dying of starvation due to lack of business, then we can talk about "overzealous" fall prevention from the medical professions.

Until then, it's crybabies wanting to have it both ways. If you don't like being group punished (and sorry about that, but make no mistake, you are) for the 25% of people (minimum) who're just conniving weasels and outright morons, punch them in the throat in the waiting room, and then go burn their ambulance-chasing lawyers' offices and homes.

But thanks for the entertainment.

You'll win this argument when pigs fly outta your butt.

I truly enjoy taking care of people, and I want each and every one of them to go home and enjoy life as near to whole as human wisdom and the medical arts can make possible. Even when they're not smart enough to figure out that I'm going to act in their best interest, even (especially) if it pisses them off or spoils their plans right this minute. Me and my coworkers easing off for ten seconds can turn into 5 years of court appearances, and six-figure damages. Or someone dying.

Alongside that consideration, someone's momentary butthurt is not a medical complaint, it's a character flaw for them to work out on their own.


Don't like hospital rules? Don't get sick, injured, or old. (As if, but that's the truth of it.)
No one's going to come to your house to enforce them on you. Problem solved.

CTH: You're Doing It Wrong

Mike at Cold Fury posted excerpts of some codswallop from Conservative Treehouse today:

Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announces he is “especially proud” of passage for his amendments requiring the U.S. military to continue operations in Afghanistan and Syria:

Which I took at face value, nearly ruining a perfectly good keyboard with the beverage I was consuming:

Srsly?

“The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and the Navy of the United States…” – U.S. Constitution, Art II, Sec. 2 

It’s prima facie an unconstitutional amendment, and wouldn’t pass the smell test in the first 5 seconds in federal court. The judge would throw it out before counsel even took their seats. 

As a moot law, it’s completely unenforceable, and Trump could tell the entire Congress to f**k themselves and bring every troop home tomorrow, and there’s jack and squat that Bitch McConjob and Queen Alzheimers can do about it except piss their Depends. 

That’s why the Constitution cleverly didn’t make Congress the executive branch. 

The military will leave Syria and/or A-stan the minute the CG says “GTFO!”, and anyone from private to CJCS who half-steps will have a long time in military correctional custody to rethink insubordination, sedition, and treason. 

Congress’ sole say in military affairs is writing the laws under which they operate, and funding them (or not). That’s it. They can starve a war, but they have no more say over where and whether the military deploys than they have over when the tide comes in.
If POTUS decides they’ll all be deployed to Alaska tomorrow, they’ll be packing long underwear and Mickey Mouse boots by sunset. 

If the idiot who wrote this and the layers of editors at Conservative Treehouse are too stupid to figure all this out without being told, they’re not tall enough for the internet.
I promise you President Trump, the entire White House executive staff, and the entire DoD down to a recruit just stepping into the yellow footprints tonight knows it without anyone telling them. 

I missed the SOTU because of work, but I’m pretty sure neither Bitch McConjob nor any other swinging Richard sh*tweasel in the Congress was granted emergency authority to suspend the US Constitution while I was sleeping. 

This is either fakenews for idiots who flunked civics, or what happens when certain websites whose name rhymes with “Funservative Peehouse” let window-licking retards write their content. Take your pick.

Then I dug deeper. It seems Bitch has passed no such "requirement".
So the correct answer is both "A" and "B".

Wait, color me shocked:
The Amendment “requires” no such thing, and the @$$tard monkey who wrote the article overstepped reality by about a country mile, conflating “reaffirming the importance” into “requiring the U.S. military to continue operations”. 

That’s like turning someone hearing “Nice job!” and turning it into “made me CEO of his company”.  

You’ve been had by a jackass, Mike.
If that’s the best CTH can do, they’re farking retards.
They’re obviously not a reliable source.

If anyone has CTH on speed dial, tell them to change their underpants, and check their basement, because clearly their batshit crazy retarded cousin has chewed through the straps, made his way to the keyboard, and gotten hold of the password to post content on their site.

I'm second to no one in my dislike of Bitch McC, but if CTH can't get basic facts straight, maybe poker's not your game, Ike.

And if you're going to rival ABCNNBCBS for "Worst FakeNews Story Of The Week", take "Conservative" out of the name, and change the website address to HuffPo or something.
Or get a job with Alex Jones.

I feel sorry for Mike for repeating this twaddle, but CTH is the one with merde all over their face.

Nice going, buttheads.

Yeah, About That "0 Miles" B.S....

h/t Conservative Treehouse

Once again proving that getting your information on what's going on at the actual border from Ann Coulter, living in NYFC, or the MSM, HQ'ed in NYFC, probably isn't the best way to keep up with what's actually happening on the border with effing Mexico.

So much for idiotic and jackassical "0 miles built" tweets.

We told you this months ago, but apparently the RNC has suddenly realized there was an information gap.

So as usual, you can believe ABCNNBCBS, and Ann Coulter's inaccurate whinging; or your lying eyes.

Dear Mr. President:

Please keep the non-essential parts of government shut down until Queen Alzheimers and Chuck U cough up another $5-10B for this wall. Even if it takes until 2021.

Having a border is what makes us a country, instead of the world's sucker.

Signed,
The United States Of America

Media Narrative On Fake Refugee Caravan Crumbles: Cue Plan J. Or K.

h/t 100% F'ed Up

So much for restless masses, yearning to breathe free.

This is merely the criminal elements of the Free Shit Army, coming to steal from Uncle Gringo, and being used as convenient photo op props by the MSM.

As posted by 100%:

Color me shocked.
Same photo op pic with obligatory prop mother-and-children, same story, channel to channel to channel.

And all 100% B.S.
This is media from the Gaza School of Fake Narrative, by way of Saddam's Baby Milk Factory nerve gas production facility. They teach middle school kids to spot this sort of propaganda as bullshit as early as the seventh grade, in schools worthy of the name.

Pity Jim Acosta or Don Lemon couldn't be there to get a few OC zingers in the face.

And BW for more thoughts:

 

Last words: the bucket of cold water from DHS Sec. Nielsen, to quell the media fever swamp nonsense:

 

“Given the activities of the last 24 hours at the San Ysidro Port of Entry, I want to provide an update on what occurred and attempt to dispel many of the rumors and much of the misinformation circulating.
“First, the violence we saw at the border was entirely predictable. This caravan, unlike previous caravans, had already entered #Mexico violently and attacked border police in two other countries. I refuse to believe that anyone honestly maintains that attacking law enforcement with rocks and projectiles is acceptable. It is shocking that I have to explain this, but officers can be seriously or fatally injured in such attacks. Self-defense isn’t debatable for most law-abiding Americans.
“Second, the caravan is far larger and more organized than previous ones. There are 8,500 caravan members in Tijuana and Mexicali. There are reports of additional caravans on their way.
“Third, the overwhelming majority of these individuals are not eligible for asylum in the United States under our laws. Historically, less than 10% of those who claim asylum from #Guatemala, #Honduras, and #ElSalvador are found eligible by a federal judge. 90% are not eligible. Most of these migrants are seeking jobs or to join family who are already in the U.S. They have all refused multiple opportunities to seek protection in Mexico or with the UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency. Seeking employment or family reunification are not grounds for asylum under our laws, or any international obligation. There are, however, legal ways to seek a job or to be reunited in the U.S.
“Fourth, the caravan members are predominately male. It appears in some cases that the limited number of women and children in the caravan are being used by the organizers as “human shields” when they confront law enforcement. They are being put at risk by the caravan organizers as we saw at the Mexico-Guatemala border. This is putting vulnerable people in harms way.
“Fifth, we cannot confirm the backgrounds and identities of all caravan members which possess a national security and public safety risk to our country. However, at this point we have confirmed that there are over 600 convicted criminals traveling with the caravan flow. This includes individuals known to law enforcement for assault, battery, drug crimes, burglary, rape, child abuse and more. This is serious. Additionally, Mexico has already arrested 100 caravan members for criminal violations in Mexico.
“Sixth, our Border Patrol agents and officers responded admirably and responsibly to the events on Sunday. It is a testament to their training and professionalism that no one was injured. The accepted use of nonlethal force (also used by the Obama Administration in 2013) prevented further injury to agents and a mass illegal rush across the border. We will not shy away from protecting our people. I ask parents to avoid violent caravan groups and refrain from attempts to illegally enter our country – these acts will put your children in danger.
“Seventh, I want to thank President Donald J. Trump again for the decision to send @DeptofDefense to the border to bolster our ports of entry and provide force protection for Customs and Border Protection. This decision likely prevented injuries to personnel and migrants or additional damage to property. Instead of “a political stunt,” as suggested by some, this was in fact the act of a leader concerned about the rule of law.
“Eighth, this Administration has been working nonstop to fix our immigration system to address the crisis at the border. We have proposed legislation and asked Congress to pass it. The President has repeatedly made clear what is needed to secure our border and negotiated in good faith. It is time for Congress to do its job. Absent Congressional action courts have misinterpreted existing laws and have made the job of law enforcement far more difficult. But the men and women of DHS will continue to do all we can to enforce the law and DHS and U.S. Department of State will continue negotiations with Mexico and our other partners in the region. We are optimistic that cross border collaboration can help make America, indeed the entire region, more secure.
“Finally, this Administration warned about the danger of the caravan. We predicted the violence we saw on Sunday. We prepared to address it with additional personnel and DOD deployments. We will continue to prepare for the next assault while looking for lasting solutions with Congress and our Mexican partners. As always, I want to thank those officers and agents in San Ysidro who, under tremendous strain, used professionalism and restraint to ensure that no one was injured as they were attacked themselves. I also thank DOD and our state & local law enforcement who were on scene to support our people.”
~ Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen

It's truly sad when such a remarkably forthright statement of obvious common sense from a public official is so jarringly alien to what we hear day in and day out from the loons on the boob tube and in the blathersphere, or from anyone in the last administration for the prior eight years reign of insanity.

Kind Of Undoes That Narrative

h/t American Thinker

Some have pooped on the idea that Patsy Sayoc might have had some help in his supposed faux-bomb campaign, or that he could be anything but a dedicated but hapless moron.

Cheerfully edited out of the narrative is this nugget of exact quotation, from the lawyer that's represented Sayoc in the past on other criminal charges:

"He never seems sophisticated enough to do something like he's accused of.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out that there were others others [sic] who helped prod or encouraged him to do this, or that the bombs in fact were so crudely made, they never could have worked.  He didn't seem to have the intellectual capacity to plan a conspiracy like this in my opinion."

Nota bene, all you clever unravellers of Truth, that his lawyer isn't saying he wasn't smart enough to do this right, he's point-blank said he wasn't bright enough to start doing it at all.

Yet another data point that explains why, exactly like Vegas, nothing about this narrative seems to fit, nor sounds right.

And most of you in that camp need to remember that two years ago, you were sure Trump's allegation that he was being wiretapped by the FBI was lunacy, too.

So, tell me again, in light of what we know now about Obama, Clinton, Comey, Meuller, Rosenstein, Strzok, Page, Brennan, Ohr, et al :
Exactly how far will the Deep State go to bring down this administration, and how far is TOO FAR, beyond which point they will not go?

I put it to you, based on mountains of obvious facts in evidence, the idea that anything whatsoever is "TOO FAR" is risible.

And a danger to the republic.

It's not Idyllic Fairytale Land here. We're in a fight for the culture and the society, and the other side's oft-expressed motto is BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

If anyone cannot process that reality, either wake the fuck up, or STFU.

UPDATE: From Comments:
Denninger's take on this. Worth reading.

Live From Bomb Central:

Dear Leftards:

You'll know when the Right sends bombs: they'll go off.

Love and kisses,

- the basket of Deplorables
#youwontlikeuswhenwereangry

Reality check:

It's the LEFT that's been almost every bomber, for over a century.
It's one of their favorite things.

Nominal right-wing bombers in the same era, you could pretty much count on your thumbs.

Milk That Cow For All the Blood It's Got...

h/t Dianny at Patriot Retort

image © Patriot Retort

I don't have TV. By design, for going on 18+ years. I have a TV, but it's hooked up to BD and DVD players, not broadcast. I've missed commercials and the blathering blowhards like I miss cholla cactus in my underpants. I can catch bits and pieces from YouTube and streaming if I care, but it's a rare year I can find two programs to give enough of a crap about to buy the season next year, on DVD, and eliminate the twenty minutes of ads per hour of broadcast.

But last night was dinner out at the local steakhouse, and with the owner off for the night, the 'tards running the joint had elected to tune to Communist News Network's set-piece flogging of the NRA, live from Florida.

And starring a bunch of kids who, combined, couldn't get to 100 IQ points, and Sen. Marco Screwyoubio, demonstrating Reason Number 307 of Why He's Too Stupid To Ever Be President, and who also couldn't come up with 100 IQ points.

So in that respect, at least, it was a fair fight.

The Genius Of The Night award was some dear little Junior Snowflake, asking Senator WhatthefuckamIdoinghere whether he'd promise to refuse any campaign cash from the NRA.

WTF has managed an A+ rating from the NRA (clearly, they grade on the curve), and wrangled some $3.2M from pro-gun sources.

So, a few points:

1) First off, anyone jackassical enough to show up for an NRA lynching, hosted by CNN, has shit for brains. But we're talking about Marco Screwyoubio, so I repeat myself.

2) The setting, which is pure emotionalism, is intended to put (or rather put up) a bunch of hand-picked water carriers for CNN's anti-gun agenda, in the fluffy bunny suit of recently traumatized teen-agers.
That sort of horseshit's got to go from Minute One.
So the first thing Sen. WTF should have said is
"You all want to act like adults, and be listened to like adults. Fair enough. I'm going to treat you like adults.
So when you say stupid, childish things, I'm calling you out for being stupid and childish.
When you make false statements, I'm going to call you out for your ignorance.
When you repeat them after being corrected, I'm going to call you out for deliberately lying. This is how adults are supposed to be treated, and how they're supposed to conduct themselves in front of other adults.
The first time you start booing that kind of response from me, and behaving like a bunch of baboons with a microphone, I'm calling you on that, too.
The second time, it happens, I'm walking out, and you can sit here and stew for all I care, because you can't control yourselves and act like adults, and I'm not going to be hostage to a pack of baboons playing on pathos and sympathy.
We'll either have a rational discussion, and we'll all behave as grown-ups, or your time out will be the entire rest of my term in the Senate.
Tonight's course will be pass-fail.
Do we have a deal on that?

3) Then, when CNN tried to hand-pick the students, he should have told them
"No, it isn't going to work like that. Every student who has a question to ask is going to get a piece of paper on which they'll print and sign their name to. Every. Last. One.
Then those namess are going to be folded closed and put in a hat, and the student body president - where are you? - is going to pick the folded names out at random, one at a time, and we're going to go on like that until you're done, or we're out of time. And I'll stay here after the cameras are off to answer any other questions that don't make it on air.
That's the deal, CNN, and it's either do this fairly, or I'm done, and you can talk to yourselves all night.

But as noted, Marco wasn't that bright, and so instead we were treated to a hand-picked cadre of dues-paying little knee-jerk progtards, telling whoppers, and getting their spew all over the place like kids with a can of silly string. And Marco tried to basically shuck and jive, mostly failing, but playing an excellent Washington Generals to CNNs Harlem Globetrotters.

When he was asked about shunning NRA funds, he should have answered,
"NRA money comes from NRA members, and they have a right to donate to whomever they support. Ask your teachers if they'll stop giving 95% of their donations from their teachers' unions to my opponents, and see what they tell you.
If they were honest, they'd say the same thing I said: everybody has a right to donate money to candidates they support. We call that free speech and free association. If your teachers are doing any good, you should have heard about it in civics class.
The reason we have it is so that no one, including you, gets to dictate what positions and what candidates anyone else supports. If you can't understand why, you fail at civics understanding, and you'll be failures as Americans.
People just a little older than you have fought and died to keep America free, so that anyone can say anything to anyone about anything. With some tiny exceptions for criminal threats and such, but absolutely including anything political. The Supreme Court declared that even neo-Nazis had the right to march, protest, and have their say, in the town square, and that was forty years ago, when there were a lot of Holocaust survivors alive who still remembered who Nazis were and what they did.
We aren't the country that tells a group 'Shut up, you have no right to be heard, and you can't support such-and-such position.'
But there IS a country that does that.
My parents are from there, and it's right down Florida State Highway 1, and then about 90 miles due south of Key West.

Anyone who wants to live like that should go there.
You don't understand a thing about being an American if you think like that."

And when he was asked about banning AR-15s specifically, or "assault weapons" generally, he should have said
"That's a retarded suggestion.
We tried it for a decade, and it accomplished nothing. NOTHING. It was a complete waste of time. Like all gun control is. The biggest mass murders in this country's history were done with gasoline fires, and a fertilizer and fuel oil bomb. No guns at all. A terrorist in France killed 86 people - four times as many as died at your school last week - and injured nearly 500 other people, by using a truck. Do you want me to ban trucks too? What about the 9/11 hijackers? Should we ban airliners? Britain has banned everything but rocks and pointy sticks already, and their violent crime rate is soaring. Meanwhile, Florida went from no concealed weapons to full CCWs for any qualified adult, and crime here has plummeted.

Except for one place: Gun-free zones, like your school. Over 90% of all mass shootings in this country ever since Joe Biden introduced the Gun Free Schools Act in 1990, before you were born, have been in gun free zones. And mainly schools, from kindergarten to college.

If your football coach had been allowed to have something besides harsh language to defend himself and other students last week, he'd probably still be alive today, so would a lot of your missing classmates, and the guy shooting your school up would be dead, or in the hospital. And the shooting would have been over much quicker, because he, and any other adult here, including your parents, would have the same rights to protect themselves, and their own children, and everybody else's children, that they have as soon as they get a certain distance away from the school grounds.

It's stupid and it's criminal that you kids have been used as guinea pigs in that failed experiment for nearly 30 years, but the one thing I can promise you is that I'm going to do everything I can to end that stupid idea starting first thing tomorrow morning."

When he was asked about raising the age to own rifles, he should have said
"Okay, let's talk about that. Let's say that 18 is too young to own a rifle. I don't agree, but let's look at doing that, because that's what you want.
But you know what kills more of your classmates every year than all the school shootings ever, everywhere, in history?

Alcohol and cars. Especially together.

Alcohol is already illegal for you kids, but you and I know that some of your classmates drink all the time. Some of them drank before they drove here tonight.
So we've been far too lenient on that, too.

So, show of hands, how about we make it an adult felony for a minor to be caught with alcohol?
How about we lock your parents up - just like with guns - if they let you get your hands on alcohol?

And two tons of car is far too dangerous and deadly a weapon to trust anyone with at a young age. So let's raise the driving age to 25. Because that's how old you are when the part of your brain where common sense lives grows in. Don't believe me, ask the auto insurance companies why they drop rates for drivers once they hit that age.

So you can all ride the bus, and not drink, until 25. Who's with me? Anyone?
Beuller? Beuller...? Ferris Beuller...?

And fair is fair, since you can't be trusted to drink or drive, let alone own rifles at that age, despite millions of kids who do both and abuse none of them, we're not going to make you register for Selective Service at 18 any more.

In fact, we're not going to let anyone join the military before 25 from here on out, because they're too immature and irresponsible. We can't be giving 17-18 year-old kids M-16s, and sending them to Iraq and Afghanistan any more then we can let them buy them in Miami, right?

And since you're too immature at 18 to own a rifle or fight in the military, we're not going to give you any college loans until you're old enough to register for Selective Service either.
At 25.

But since we'll get a lot fewer 25- and 26-year-olds to sign up for the military voluntarily than we get 18- and 19-year olds now, we're going to have to bring back the draft.
Probably for every last one of you. So from 25-29, you'll be drafted, inducted into the military branch of your choice, and serve a tour in one of the branches of the armed services.
Every. Last. One. Of. You.
We'll find something for the unfit to do.
And if you're a conscientious objector, that's just fine; you can serve your time as a combat medic with the Army or Marines. Or else do the time in the stockade.
Just like Little League, everybody plays.
Boys and girls. Or rather, men and women, because that's what you'll be then.
Because equality, right?

Of course, that'll suck, because a lot of you will get married and have kids yourselves by then (unless you want to raise the marriage age too?...Anyone?).

But at least after you get out, and you're nearly 30, you can apply for a college loan then.
Since the government backs all college loans, and nobody gets one without us, you're pretty much going to be in limbo for another 7-8 years after high school: no military, no college, no cars, and no alcohol.

Practice saying "Would you like fries with that?" a lot.

And all that time, if someone wants to stick you up, carjack you, break into your home, rob you, rape you, kill you, whatever - you can be happy when you're the victim, because then, every crook will know that at your age, you're a safe unarmed target, but at least no one will be able to buy a rifle legally at 19 and shoot up a school.

So, who wants to go with that view of when you're mature enough to trust with serious things?

All or nothing. Either you're an adult at 18, or you're not.
How about it?
All I can hear is crickets out there.

So, does anyone out there have any suggestions about how to go about fixing this that doesn't involve abrogating the Constitutional rights of millions of law-abiding Americans, including your own families, and putting all of them at greater risk for years, just because one of your former classmates freaked out and shot and killed your fellow students? Because the oath I took was to defend the United States Constitution, even from you, trying for all the right reasons to do something to it that no one is allowed to do.
Any suggestions to solving this that don't violate that oath, we can talk about, and we can do, and you'll have my undivided attention and full support. That's what your parents and a lot of other people in this state elected me to do.

I'm sorry people died, as you are. But the solution isn't to throw a tantrum and turn the Constitution and common sense on their heads."

And that probably would've been a big enough dose of adulthood to shut up even the yammering well-coached Libtard harpies, and it would've been over, with the CNN Hindenburg exploding in flames and crash-landing right on live cable TV.

But again, this was Marco WTFAIDH, and he couldn't help but step all over his wedding tackle with both feet, while CNN cued the violins and tugged the heartstrings the entire time, and then wrapped it up with gratuitous anti-gun porn and Trump-bashing frosting.

And it's going to continue, until Screwyoubio takes night classes in the Constitution and common sense, or hires me to write his speeches, or he at least hires someone that's brighter than he is, low though that bar may be.

But it explains why the restaurant was damned near empty for that show.

image © Patriot Retort

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