I...
I mean...
This can't be...
It's a parody...
Wait?! It's real?!?!?
What the...?
Words almost fail to do this justice.
This guy should've just been killed, on the spot, FFS. As a mercy killing. For the good of the service.
Incredibly, this happened at least a year ago. A decade or two hence, it would have been an entire episode of 60 Minutes, and the Secretary of Defense would have been impeached for cause. And probably would have had to flee the country to somewhere without an extradition treaty to avoid the federal trial afterwards.
After watching this ungodly piece of total walking shit fuck up harder than a platoon full of retards just in his non-judicial Mast, while underway submerged on USS Wyoming (SSBN-742) I have a scant few questions:
1) How in blistering fuck is this asshole on any nuclear missile submarine? EVAR?!?
2) How in blistering fuck did this walking piece of shit every get on any submarine that wasn't a landlocked tour, or a ride at a Disneyland amusement park?
3) Why the fuck is this being handled at an Article 15 Captain's Mast, instead of a Special Court Martial?
4) Why isn't Seaman Recruit Fuckbag not doing 5-10 years under confinement at hard labor at the Military Correctional Facility in Fort Leavenworth, KS, spending 16 hours a day beating the shit out of boulders with a sledgehammer until his bones screamed in agony, every single day, prior to receiving a Bad Conduct Discharge??
5) Why isn't everyone in this shitbag's chain of command, from SecDef down to his Leading Petty Officer, not getting the shit grilled out of them by 20 Senators and Congressweasels live on national television for endangering the national security of the United States of America, specifically with regard to willfully and negligently disregarding the safety and integrity of our strategic nuclear weapons delivery systems, for ever letting such an unredeemed piece of walking human shit within 50 miles of a nuclear missile submarine, and facing charges up to and including treason?
6) Why isn't Seaman Recruit Fuckbag's face and body not lumped up like a row of anti-tank dragon's teeth from the results of nightly "blanket parties" administered by his entire watch, in shifts, using bars of soap in a sock administered from head to toe, prior to his flagrantly insubordinate appearance at this Mast, just to instill in him the bare minimum of respect and military courtesy for his chain of command??
7) How in blistering fuck did anyone pass this shitbomb through recruit training, let alone sign him up for the Navy in the first place?
While this CO has the patience of a saint, tolerating such flagrant and willful disobedience and disrespect, and letting this shitbag off with a few days confinement on bread and water, is like the CO wiping his ass on his own uniform and the ship's national ensign (that would be the U.S. flag for lubbers) at the same time.
The most reasonable and expeditious punishment for this 80-IQ piece of walking shit should have been to have the Master At Arms take him to the Trash Disposal Unit, physically stuff him inside it, jumping on it as necessary to get it closed, compact his body using the machinery provided, eject it overboard at depth, and record his subsequent status as Unauthorized Absence - Presumed Desertion At Sea.
And that gentle treatment, only because Keelhauling and Flogging Round The Fleet have sadly gone out of vogue.
Everyone who touched him all the way back to the recruiter who signed him into the Navy should be reduced one grade permanently, and receive a permanent punitive letter of counselling for their official service record.
I know senior NCOs in the Marine Corps who would have killed such a piece of human excrement on the spot in the first two minutes of this clown show, purely out of autonomous reaction, pled guilty, and gotten a Navy Commendation Medal from the Commandant of the Marine Corps for that response.
In the Fleet Marine Force, a guy like this would have received E-tool counselling in the field, and never come back after a field exercise. No loss, net gain.
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| Hint: This is an E(ntrenching)-Tool |
If during wartime in a combat zone, one of the grenades on his belt would have had the safety pin removed. Oopsie. Too bad. So sad.
Sorry, squids: you're now a national joke, and an international laughingstock. They should issue all of you rainbow wigs, red ball noses, and clown shoes in basic training until further notice.
This is what all those rusty Navy ships look like on the inside.
And why I can't even talk about the current state of the military anymore. If this hadn't plopped onto my YouTube page today, I could have died happier someday. Pretty much like the US Navy already has.
