From The Ministry Of Weaselwords

Translation: No nuclear war today, thanksverymuch. NATO took a vote, and they're not going to start Armageddon over one Russian "Aw shitski!" 

Because sometimes, it's better to be a live sh*tweasel, than a vaporized truth-teller floating to earth as radioactive fallout particles.

So much for the ongoing line of horsesh*t about anyone trying to poke Russia into a nuclear war. Vlad just got a mulligan, and some fuck-up missile programmer in Belarus just got a dirt nap.

Beware The Ancient Booer

 

This happens in real life as well as fairytales:

That rousing, robust, and richly-deserved damnation of the Shithead in Chief, by the mother of one of his most recent victims, should ring in his ears until he dies, hopefully while being buried alive by the mob, with dirt shoveled onto his still blinking eyes, until the weight of his crimes is equaled by the weight of the earth upon his chest that suffocates the miserable life out of him.

h/t Odd Job

There's another picture you probably saw this week. But it wasn't finished, as given.

Allow us to add the proper finishing touches:

Rest assured his trousers have matching racing stripes of cowardice, except those run down the insides of the legs.

Etiquette

 h/t WRSA

BTW, the original artwork contained the incorrect flag lapel pin.

FIFY.

Reference Copy

 

One is small, cheap, minimally useful, dumb as a bag of hammers, black to its very core, and looks like a small puck of fecal material.

The other is a vintage tub of shoe polish.

All Rise...

The Net IQ of Congress Just Went Up Ten Points

Race-baiting communist, babbling drooler on countless news clips, and poster child for everything wrong with Baltimorons, Rep. Elijah Cummings is dead, unfortunately about 40 years late to do anyone any real good.

This will leave a momentary vacancy on a few House committees, but with the current surplus of lackwits available on the Democrat bench, that won't last long.

We regret we won't be able to attend the funeral, but we're looking forward to sending the happily former congressweasel's office a nice note today, expressing our full approval of the occasion.

R.I.H., race-hustling shitweasel. I feel sorry for your family, mainly for them being related to you.

This Cretin Is Dumber Than A Bag Of Hammers

This is a congressweasel with an IQ in negative numbers.
This is someone who has arguments with fungus, and loses.

But hear me: I would not harm a hair on her head, nor advocate anyone to shoot this treasonous moron in the face. There are strict laws against that, after all.

But if when it happens, I won't attend the funeral.
I will send a cheerful note expressing my undisguised approval.

And while her district, the Congress overall, and the American people are the big losers as Evita Shitshow Stalin stumbles from gaffe to disaster to flaming dumpster fire, there's one unquestioned winner in all this.

Democrat Masterclass: Meet Your Instructor

The Secret Of Her Suck-cess

h/t Irish

In honor of the secret of her political rise, Sen. Kamala Stalin Harris (D-Bukkake) will henceforth be referred to by the handy and accurate appellations "Kneepads", or on formal occasions, "Sen. Deepthroat."

It's good to commemorate where people came from, and remind folks what they're voting for. And 2020 promises to be twice the political @$$clown show 2016 was.

Today's Biggest Loser

Well done, Quisling. Couldn't run your own caucus with the Speaker's gavel and a 23 seat lead. Couldn't kill Obamacare even after 8 attempts, couldn't fund the border wall, couldn't help bloating the budget, growing the deficit, and couldn't stop f**king over the Republican base or backstabbing the President at every opportunity, then bolted for the door when the chickens were going to come home to roost. (Joined betimes by a basket of fellow GOPe RINOs who could smell the change in the political wind.)

This is the one man in America who should be hounded and cat-called and annoyed at every restaurant he dines at forever, until he dies, or gets ahold of a gun and one bullet, and does the honorable thing.

The difference between Pelosi and Ryan is than Pelosi at least can blame dementia and Alzheimer's for not knowing what the fuck she's doing or saying.

Ryan is just a straight-up douchecanoe and all-around backstabbing one-man walking clusterf**k.

I'm hoping when he returns home, there's a crowd waiting to greet him with ceremonial rotten eggs to kick off his return to ignominy, opprobrium, scorn, derision, and a well-deserved anonymity, hopefully followed by retirement to a secluded cave in the northern wilderness, muttering to himself until he's fortuitously eaten by wolves. (I will donate the pork chop necklace to that endeavor, if he'll agree to such a well-earned self-exile.)

When the country needed solid leadership, we got this political Gilligan, and now we have to suffer under screw-loose Pelosi, and the reign of totally unhinged frothing-rabid moonbats chairing every House committee in Congress for the next two years.

That's a hell of a legacy, Quisling.
If there's ever been a worse example of Speaker of the House, I can't think of who it could be, although your immediate successor is looking to outdo you, if that's even possible.

Do the country a favor: announce publicly you have the goods on Shrillary and Bill, and face your imminent suicide by three bullets to the head like a man. If only for the sheer novelty.

And when you die, die happy, knowing that your smiling face will grace the political dictionary photo entry for shitshow, for at least the next 50 years.

Operation PEAK SMEAR becomes Operation SOGGY DIAPERS

During today's opening statements by Sen. Grassley, Sens. Dick Bloominidiot, Crazy Mazie Morono, Cruella Hairass, and Sheldon Outhouse all stomped out to the hallway to have a good whiny cry and sit in their piss-sodden pampers.

Besides a benediction to them to DLTDHYITAOYWO, Grassley should toss them from the Judiciary Committee for the balance of this Congress, and they should all be censured for their childish behavior by the full Senate.

Fineswine, Durbin, and Leahy ought to be impeached and thrown out of the Senate entirely.



"Suck it, crybabies!"



And a great idea from Miguel at Gun Free Zone:

 

Barbara Boxer Unseated As Stupidest US Senator Of All Time!

And in a field that includes such prior luminaries as Shrillary Clinton, Al Gore Jr., and Joe Biden, this is really quite an accomplishment.

Celebrity Match-Up: Gilligan vs. Gillibrand

Project Veritas Delivers Another Body-Slam

This kind of crap going on demands either prosecutions, or people getting whacked in Fort Marcy Park.

I'm beyond caring which one happens, though watching the former would be more fun.

Let's Call This What It Is

Just as I've done with multiple posts covering the murder of her neighbor by a grumpy Dallas copette, Gateway Pundit has done with the 11th hour fairytale of smear allegations against slam-dunk SCOTUS nominee Bret Kavanaugh:

Kavanaugh denies that alleged incident ever took place

In that one, he publishes Kavanaugh's complete refutation.

Writer of confidential Kavanaugh letter is a far left activist.
Here GP  notes, via Mike Cernovich, that the moonbat making the accusation spent the last week scrubbing her social media history for life, to hide the fact that she's a barking SJW moonbat with credibility and sanity issues. 
Lawyer for Kavanaugh accuser is a major Democrat party and MoveOn donor
Agenda Politics 101.


Fineswein refuses to be on conference call between Sen. Judicary chair and accuser
This is Mob Hits 101:"Drop the gun. Take the canoli."

When you "suddenly" remember the son of the family you've got an axe to grind against molested you 35 years ago in an incident both other parties deny ever happened, for which any shred of credibility evaporated 34 1/2 years ago, with no witnesses, and no possibility to establish anything but your level of current animus and mental instability, and you're a barking moonbat, described by your own student's reviews as "crazy", and prone to hold a grudge, and you work in the psychology field, (where the 90+% whackdoodles there to self-diagnose give the other 10% a bad name, since forever - and I'm rounding the 90+ percentage downward to give them every benefit of the doubt), and you were anonymous until you'd scrubbed your entire sad frothing leftard life, being represented by another moonbat as counsel, and pimped, in secret, by the Den Mother of communist lunacy in the Senate, who won't have anything to do with you after she's used you to try and shoot the nominee in the face,

you aren't peddling truth, you're pimping an agenda, and you're quite simply a wagon full of bullshit.

This is the part of the multi-course dinner where we bring in some fine vintage Kurt Schlichter to wash these accusations down:

"Victim status, whether based upon truth or lies – because people do lie, and all the time – does not give you any special privileges or special rights. Instead, it gives you duties and obligations, whether that is cosmically fair or not. See, if you propose to inflict damage upon someone, even if justifiable, you bear the burden of proof. You have to prove it; the accused doesn’t have to disprove your amorphous innuendos. You have the duty to back up your claims, in public, and subject yourself to the greatest engine for the ascertainment of truth humanity has yet invented, cross-examination by a zealous advocate for the accused who is doing his best to show that you can’t be trusted.
Take the stand and the heat, or shut up.
Is it hard? Yeah? Is it tough on real victims? It sure is. Is it unfair? Maybe, but the only people who think life can ever be fair are little kids and socialists, and only fools design their society around the insights of either bunch. 

The sliming of Brett Kavanaugh by a Bernie donor is disgusting and disgraceful, and if Democrats had any shred of decency they would hang their heads in shame and spend the next two months ahead of the midterms doing penance to atone for their scummy act of cheap political theater. But they don’t, so they won't.

That’s why I hope that after he is confirmed, Justice Kavanaugh remembers and spends the next 35 years making the liberals sorry they ever pulled these skeevy shenanigans."

This lunatard accuser should not only not be heard by the Senate, Fineswine and her cronies in the minority should be censured by the entire Senate for withholding this information from the whole committee while it was in session, and then attempting this obvious and ham-fisted hit-job of waiting to leak it about five minutes before the confirmation vote, which vote should be held on schedule, without any reference to this utter mountain of bullshit, and Kavanaugh confirmed and sworn in to join SCOTUS as if it had never been attempted.

This sort of bullshit grenade should be thrown back at the Dem agenda-pimps who burped it out, and it should get the harshest official smackdown available to the Senate, the same day as the vote to confirm Kavanaugh is held.

In fact, I'd be fine with suspending and tossing the minority members of the Senate who were party to and complicit in this scam out, for cause, for the duration of the debate and vote. Kavanaugh will be confirmed without them either way, so all including them in the proceedings henceforth does is remove any consequences from their behavior.

Putting them in the penalty box, for real, and denying them the opportunity for any further grandstanding is not only justified, it's completely appropriate. If any crimes were committed, they should be fully investigated.

If they do it anything like this again, they should be put on notice that they'll be removed from the Senate for good. When you perpetrate this sort of crime against the people, you deserve the harshest remedies available. Up to and including unseating you, and throwing you out of the club.

This is what the Leftards did with Clarence Thomas, and now with Kennedy's replacement.

Imagine the shrieking and antics when Ginsburg finally strokes out, and the next justice President Trump appoints has the chance to undo any hope of leftist judicial activism for the next thirty years.

That poo-flinging pants-wetting chimp-out is going to be epic.

GMTA: Miguel at Gun Free Zone has the same prognosis:

"Do you understand it?
Having evidence of your innocence is solid evidence of your guilt.

You: “I didn’t do it, I have an alibi.”

The Left: “Only a guilty person would think about having an alibi.  Guilty!”

We are approaching the cartridge box fix at breakneck speed.  Once this perversion goes from court of public opinion to actual court, or in the case of Kavanaugh, a hearing, justice in America is doomed.
The courtroom will become a Chinese Finger Trap where the more you fight to prove your innocence, the more the prosecution says that proves you are guilty.
Supporting free speech makes you a Nazi.
Believing in equality under the law makes you a white supremacist.
Providing evidence of your innocence is evidence of your guilt.
They have turned every principle of our foundation upside-down.
This is a purely evil as things can get."

Same take from Peter at Bayou Renaissance Man, with Silicon Graybeard and Nitzakhon, AKA Red Pill Jew in comments. 
And at Diogenes' Middle Finger.
And at 100% F'ed Up.

And finally, Bill Whittle's video on this:

Forget me; that's a lot of common sense and IQ horsepower in one spot.

"War is a continuation of politics, by other means." - von Clausewitz

Sportiness cometh.
Prepare accordingly.

...Hence The Term "Sh*tweasels"

h/t Scratching To Escape

Color me shocked: Number Two (how apropos) Congressional shitweasel with a nominal (R) after his name tries to blame political violence on both sides. Even after taking a rifle bullet through his literal ass from a deranged Democrat leftard moonbat:

 (MORDOR ON THE POTOMAC) "Unless more leaders speak out against this violence, it will only continue. Instead of calling for harassment, we need more leaders in both parties to condemn this rhetoric and the violent actions of their supporters.
We cannot afford to sit on the sidelines of this issue. I am calling on everyone, whether Republican or Democrat, to call out violent actions and violent rhetoric. If you have to resort to violence, you’re probably losing the argument.
Let’s return to civility, for the sake of our democracy."

Best of luck with the white flag "both sides are equivalent" horseshit, Congressturd Scalise.

Newsflash from 1944: "Normandy invasion a success. Allies call for both sides to stop fighting." -said no newspaper or Allied general ever.

This kind of sophomoric false equivalency virtue-signaling is why people voted President (Not My Guy) Trump in, passing up thirteen of your pussilanimous pussy cronies and fellow namby-pamby Pollyanna douchecanoes to get to him, and have turned their back on business-as-usual Marquess-of-Queensbury-Rules-waving backstabbers like you, and your whole RINO "Dying With Dignity, and Losing With Pride" faux-conservativism of the last 30 years.
Strong message follows.

So get this straight, Congressman Assbag:

I'm not "promoting" violence, I'm promising it.

There will be no unilateral disarmament.
And there will be no unilateral "return to civility".
It's a binary value: either everybody does it, or nobody does it.
Trying that any other way is suicidal.

And if you want to leave politics and enter the priesthood or work at the UN, well...DLTDHYITAOYWO.

And best wishes peacemaking at Gettysburg wearing blue trousers and a grey jacket. When you get shot from both sides, like you deserve, don't come bellyaching to anyone. You made your casket, so go and lie in it. If you're lucky, given the other side's rhetoric, and your past experience, it'll only be a political one, not an actual one.

The rules of political violence have been laid out plainly here for centuries:
Don't start nothin', won't be nothin'.

Open the ball, however, and you can expect to leave on a shutter, feet first.

Easy peasey.

Rep. Scalise is hypocritically mouthing PC pablum from the shadow of his wheelchair, if he forgets so soon the two guys who used violence on his behalf, by plugging the lone gunman that put an AK bullet through his hips and left him bleeding and crippled on the softball field, waiting for the coup de grace shot. Pity they hadn't taken the "no-violence" pledge a year earlier, huh?

So he's either a moron, or a hypocrite.
Given his job, it's impossible to select from two such likely choices.
And, let's be honest, nothing says he cannot be both.

There's only one side screaming to go out and start violence. For nearly two years now, non-stop, and ever more boldly by the day.

The other side is simply vowing to finish it.

Even in an election year, if Scalise is too mealy-mouthed to acknowledge that obvious truth, then he was obviously shot two feet lower than what he needed or deserved. He would've made a better martyr than a spokeshole, but fate decreed otherwise. More's the pity. Andrew Breitbart is dead, and we're stuck with slugs like this guy.

So maybe, just maybe, instead of knee-jerk passing out flowers and prayer beads, and holding a candlelight kumbayah party, just say thank you to the guys who used violence to save your worthless hide, and then stop shitting on your own side's head, as if they're in any way to blame for two years of TDS, tantrums, and flinging their diaper-spackle while threatening literal beheading, and actually trying to kill people. Have your staffers call the GOP guy running for Congress in NorCal who was almost stabbed this weekend by another Leftard fruitcake, and then go pour yourself a big, steaming hot cup of STFU, eh? As if your self-promoting virtue-signaling will suddenly make the PR wing of the Democrat Party over at ABCNNBCBS suddenly fall to their knees and slobber over your worthy sandals for being the Gandhi of Mordor.

In case you haven't been keeping up with current events (and this sort of tripe makes it clear you were in a coma, and still are) the days of this sort of happy horseshit are OVER. We need a wartime consigliere, and we're going to have to go to the mattresses. Very possibly for real. Guys like you need a fishing trip with Fredo, or a straight razor and a warm bath. Yours is not a voice of calm. Yours is the voice of psychotic delusion.

Pussies like you would be worth voting out of office forever, if not for the spectre of Nancy Of Alzheimer's waiting in the wings to dethrone your chickenshit Speaker just in time for Christmas, which is why Speaker Quisling is leaving town one step ahead of the posse.

I'm thinking that 7.62x39 bullet must've clipped your nut sack off too on the way through your pelvis; might wanna get that checked. And a stout board strapped to your back in lieu of your missing spine wouldn't go amiss either.

Then people might not identify you for the invertebrate jellyfish squish you so clearly are.

But at least maybe you can get to the finals in the John McCain/Benedict Arnold Medal competition for next year.

Just saying.

But hey, thanks a pantload for getting my blood pressure up, and my bile rising, this early in the day.
It's about all you walking colostomy bags are good for most days. All I can add is that if the GOP loses the House at the midterms, I hope your ass is out on the street the Wednesday morning after Election Day. No sense letting a thorough shitcanning go to waste, and clearly, your district could use the change, just like your soggy diapers.

Lest We Forget



Call me anything, but not late for a party.

We note today the news from multiple sources that, after a long and brave struggle, the brain cancer in his head will finally succeed in removing from office the man the torpid and disgraceful voters of Arizona would not for over three decades in office, Sen. John Sidney McCain III. We salute the brain cancer in this long, valiant, and hard-won effort, and thank it for belatedly doing what mere voting should have done for AZ and the nation at least two decades prior.

We would be remiss in failing to note that at a time when most of his generation shirked, shrunk, and sabotaged their nation, McCain stood up. Whether from lack of imagination, the press of family duty to two prior generations of family service as four-star admirals, or, one can but hope, from some later-suppressed spring of actual patriotism and unmitigated love of country that has long-since run dry, John McCain did the Lord's own work in serving in the military at a time when such service was literally spat upon, and delivered to America's enemies, actual red-flag waving godless murdering communist bastards, exactly what they deserve: 500 pound bundles of flaming jagged steel shrapnel and TNT, exploding right on top of their asses. Anyone doing that deserves recognition and full military honors for the facts, without exception.

Unhappily for him, on exactly one such mission, his jet was blown out of the sky, he was injured and wounded, and he became a guest at one of the most notorious prison torture camps known to living men, the infamous "Hanoi Hilton", where he suffered unspeakable and endless cruelties at the hands of his captors for six years until being repatriated at war's end.

While there may be some varying accounts, and his own admission of finally breaking under the ceaseless torture, there is no doubt that he suffered and bore upon himself such pain and agony of body and soul as killed lesser men at the same place and time. From that day to the present, he's been unable to lift his arms above his shoulders due to the abuse he suffered at the hands of such reprehensible captors. And for this exemplary service and more, the nation owes him and countless others, living, dead, or missing in perpetual limbo, an unspeakably large debt of gratitude. That much is beyond discussion.

Were we there when his casket passed us by, we'd render the hand salute, crisply and with military precision, to honor the flag on his coffin, that sacrifice he gave, and the sort of man who could and did undertake such service to his then-ungrateful and indifferent country.

But we did not undertake this to praise him, but to bury him. (We beseech the fates, please, soon.) So one fine day, his well-filled caisson shall pass, and he'd be laid to rest, and should we have the opportunity, we doubt we'd forego the chance to leave something on his grave site afterwards. A deposit that would not pass for flowers, nor from our heart, but rather from somewhere a foot or two lower down, to betoken what he spent the last 32 years on this earth doing: undercutting and backstabbing his constituents, and crapping on the state of Arizona, his party, his military record, the fallen shipmates who never made it home, his multiple oaths of office, and his country itself, in becoming one of the most petty, vindictive, backstabbing and cruel little pricks ever to befoul the halls of the United States Senate. Which, given the competition, is really saying something.

Everyone will remember with clarity the spiteful remarks, the gratuitously antagonistic and pugnacious demeanor, the outright duplicity, the barely concealed rage, the disloyalty to people who served him and were discard like used Charmin - the former governor of Alaska comes to mind - once he could get nothing more from them. The dictionary entry for "misanthrope" should bear his photographic likeness, and were he to pick up a cat in the dark, we have no doubt he'd pet it the wrong way out of sheer force of habit. We doubt even dogs liked him. Humans, however, will remember too the half-hearted, half-assed, and half-witted bumble for the presidency, inflicting by force of his own lacking humanity and manifest unfitness for the office, the last disastrous regime upon America, such that it could not be dislodged until the 22nd Amendment came to the rescue, just in the nick of time.

And most of all, they will remember the snarl of undisguised contempt he wore perpetually, and the demeanor and personality that gave it to him, and preventing even the most kind-hearted person from ever regarding him with well-deserved pity, rather than the justly earned disgust he's finally enjoyed. That he is the sort of man who would drag himself to cast the deciding vote to thwart the will of the vast majority of Americans in ending the disastrous experiment in full socialism that was ObamaCare, contrary to his party, president, and simple mathematics, amidst the ravages of brain cancer, really tells you more about the man than anything that two thousand days of beating and torture at the hands of inhuman communist bastards ever could. He'll probably enter eternity still more proud of that petty, vindictive, and traitorous act than he will of any day he ever spent in uniform.

And any obituary, come the happy day, cannot but note that the latter more than dwarfs the former.

We will not speak ill of the dead right after the funeral, if only to let the unfortunate family (unfortunate because they are family, and not due to the actual temporal circumstance) grieve in peace for a respectful interval. That's but humanity, and simple common courtesy.

We are not of the tradition that believes in penance and purgatory, yet we cannot but hope that when his earthly days finish, he is accorded an interval in the afterlife replicating to the last maggot-infested ricebowl and last tendon-snapping morning re-education session the days and years he spent in Hòa Lò to repay him for his conduct after his release. How long that would be is not for earthly minds to say, were it to happen, but we are within the realm of reasonableness to say that happen it should.

If some backstory inevitably surfaces days or years hence, trying to pin most of his later years on PTSD, we understand, and even sympathize, but that argues for getting the hell out of the Senate, and seeking treatment, rather than punishing the entire nation for one's own inner demons. Otherwise one is no better than children who murder their parents, and then beg for mercy because they are orphans.

Most people die never knowing how folks really feel about them, because they're not at their memorial service, just the husk. As Hognose's father (Hogfather?) observed at his memorial service last summer, being dead is like being stupid: your friends and family all know about it, but you don't. I would not wish such agnosticism on the subject of today's epistle. So in anticipation of the hastening happy date when the world is finally freed from the actions of Senator McCain (aka Sen. McCrazy) we note for the record that while we cannot hope to attend his impending funeral, rest assured we shall, with the utmost gratitude, heartily approve of it.

Whatever you think of the soon-to-be-departed senator, please learn a lesson from him, and try to live your life so that your passing makes your contemporaries weep and angels sing, and not the other way around.

Democrats: Voting Early, And Often

It's impossible to parody this level of brazen jackassery; one must simply report it:

(Breitbart) Six hundred and seventy ballots were cast in a Georgia precinct with 276 registered voters in the state’s primary election, according to the Georgia Secretary of State’s office.

A northeastern Georgia precinct located in Habersham County had 276 registered voters before the state’s primary elections at the end of May, but 670 votes were recorded—indicating that 276 percent of voters turned out in Georgia’s primary election, McClatchy reported.
The recently publicized voting irregularities come as the state investigated other instances of voter fraud—including one where an Atlanta City Hall staffer claimed she had to “print and deliver 500 blank absentee ballots” to an advocacy group staffer and pick up additional ballots from the Atlanta mayor’s campaign office to drop them off at an office in Fulton County.
Part of the reason for the increase in voter fraud claims stems from concerns about the security of Georgia’s electronic voting systems, as Georgia is one of a handful of states, including New Jersey, South Carolina, Delaware, and Louisiana, that uses electronic voting machines that do not produce a paper trail for voters to verify their ballots.

It's always great when the Dumbocrats manage to collect 276% of the votes in a democratic election.

It's time for federal civil rights prosecutions, and people frog-marched in chains and orange jumpsuits for lengthy prison terms. If federal prosecutors want to take short-term felony plea bargains from the peons in exchange for the next higher-up set of perpetrators, that'd be fine too. Sooner or later, Soros' face will be going on an Interpol wanted poster, and he lives in NFY state, so he won't be that hard to find. Ask Saddam and Osama about how that works IRL.

Any failure of that, post haste, will lead to plan B: a short rope, a tall tree, and torch-and-pitchfork civic renewal by the gross. (Common Core grads, look that last word up; it doesn't mean what you think it does.)

As to which one occurs, frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
A few bullet-riddled former civil officials shot to doll rags would be a salutary thing for the body politic, and decent folks are running out of patience or faith that "the system" will ever be used properly again. That always ends catastrophically poorly for someone, with the reliability of sunrise. 

Day 564: Has Anyone Seen This Man?

Is he in a coma in some hospital as a John Doe?
Kidnapped by aliens?
Being held in a warehouse with a bag over his head?

No one knows.

Over eighteen months without a living, breathing, functioning Attorney General of the United States has to be some sort of terrible record.

Look in Saddam's hole in the ground.
Check Osama bin Laden's safehouse.
Look in Shrillary's upstairs closet.

The last guy who played hide and seek this well was Jimmy Hoffa.

Before that, it was the Japanese officer hiding in the Philippines for almost 30 years after WWII.
At this rate, by 2024, after being missing for seven years, the President can just have him declared legally dead, and name a replacement automatically. So at least we'd have an AG for the last year of Trump's second term.


If anyone sees hide or hair of this man, please, contact the Department Of Justice immediately. Rumor has it he may have something important to be doing.

I swear, I'm thinking of having t-shirts made.

I'm really worried something may have happened to him.

Plan B Is Coming, Whether You Want It Ot Not

 

Reply to Tuesday's post, presumably from a serving BP agent:

"The problem is that we (yes, we) don't have enough manpower in the field. We have so many people assigned to details (other assignments) and processing, that there are not enough agents working the field. There are stations and areas (we call them zones) which are totally open. On some shifts, there may be only 2 or 3 agents patrolling up to 12 to 20 miles of border. More agents are inside buildings processing or taking care of the family units and unaccompanied minors. Whenever family units show up, that takes the manpower away from patrolling other areas, which the smugglers use to cross the traffic that they really want to get away. You could have a station with over 400 or more assigned agents only assigning 15 agents to patrol their area of the border. The worst feeling in the world is hearing the radio call out a smuggling vehicle loading up aliens, and there being no agents available to intercept that vehicle. So those aliens are just called gottaways.  

Not all areas require relief, that is, you dont have to wait for the next shift to arrive before you leave. Some areas do require you to wait for your relief to arrive before you leave.

The problems arise when you have a smuggling case or an alien gets hurt. The agent assigned to work those duties (work the case or go to the hospital to babysit the alien) always gets taken from the field, not from the processing duties. What could solve this? Fire most of the management. Change the culture. Make the all areas wait until relief shows up. I'd actually be ok with that if there were enough agents assigned to ensure relief for every agent in the field.  

As for the numbers being wrong, everyone knows that. BP numbers show a very large percentage of apprehensions, but there are not enough agents out there to count the "gottaways". That has been reported to OIG and other agencies who monitor CBP, but nothing ever happens. There are a lot of people getting away, along with a lot of narcotics, and who knows what else. So, in the end, you are correct in being upset and thinking that the system sucks. If you want to fix the problem, fire most upper management, and bring in new blood. As for the sleepers, that is not acceptable. But most of the new guys who come in are taking this as a job, not as a calling. So, we need a total culture reset. Nice article."

You're welcome.
My response was too long for a reply in Comments, so you get this post instead:

You can explain all you want; last I looked, the length and boundaries of the border with Mexico was a known quantity since the finalization of the Gadsden Purchase of 1854, which is why there are actual physical monuments along it every mile from the Gulf of Mexico to the Pacific, while the Border Patrol has doubled and then tripled in size in just the last decade or two, so it's not like suddenly someone in DC woke up and said "Holy shit, there's 2000 miles of border to watch, we need more agents!"

You, as an agency, aren't "patrolling" it now, you weren't then, and the reason is that no matter if you were budgeted for 2,000,000 agents instead of the current 45,000, management would still put 1,999,000 of them on desk duty, roadblocks, babysitting, or some other horseshit make-work or dog-and-pony show, and claim it was an effort to "focus resources where they were needed", instead of y'know, actually sending most of you out to do your goddam jobs.

Resources will be misallocated by deliberate mismanagement to eliminate doing 90% of the job, forever, both because they can, and because by doing otherwise the problem would end, then shrink to a miniscule fraction of what it is now, funding would stabilize, and cartel bribes would decrease prodigiously. And we can't be breaking anyone's rice bowl.

I feel for you, being apparently one of the approximately 33% of agents who probably still gives a shit, most days. Whenever I met a guy with sweatstains in his cowboy hat he didn't get from sitting in an air-conditioned office all day, I knew I found a good one, far better than the average, but they were only a fraction of the whole bunch, even on the best days.
But another third are just there for the paycheck.
And the third after that are either totally corrupt bought-and-paid-for cartel tools, incredibly mind-numbingly incompetent, or in most cases, both, to the extreme.
The latter third are generally earmarked for supervisory slots in all bureaucracies.

The manpower available right now could shut the whole thing down 24/7/365, if those in charge of the agency, or their federal overlords, wanted it so, but it hasn't happened, so the inescapable conclusion is that simply TPTB don't want that to happen, ever.

I helped shut down 6 miles of border, drum-tight, with just 3-4 guys, for several years, and all that required was an agent or two in a dog-catcher van to come out occasionally and pick up the trash. Not leaving a post until you're replaced has been the standard of performance since Caesar's legions from 200 B.C., so not doing it everywhere and claiming it's too hard in 2018 is simply b.s. If the penalty for leaving a post unsecured was death, as it was for Roman legionaries, we'd have the tightest border in history, in about 2 seconds. Also 40M fewer illegals here, no anchor babies, Dreamers, schemers, and assorted miscreants, a metric fuckton less illegal drugs, and about 25% less crime, but who wants that, right?

It's only too hard when TPTB screw that pooch good and hard, which as you note, it the root of the problem. Firings and prosecutions are the way to handle that, but it would require anyone in charge giving a damn. That they're doing it wrong the exact same way, 20 years later, shows the vast majority are far beyond giving a f**k, and most want anything but functional security on the border.

The simple word for that is "treason".
Those people in charge of perpetrating it better get on their knees and pray folks don't start posseing up on that, and looking for ropes and tall objects to tie them off.
Me, I wouldn't bet on the perpetual forbearance of the average citizen.

You get the hiring leftovers, because everyone knows you're essentially the TSA: just for show, not for actually doing anything.

And when that penetrates to the national consciousness, border security is going to gravitate inexorably towards a .30-caliber between the eyes at range, and the only problem at that point will be the buzzards getting too fat to fly away afterwards, until Pedro figures out fixing Mexico, or just dealing with his own disasterpiece theater there, is a better solution than risking a headshot that ends his dreams forever.

But it's going to get to that, as sure as God made little green apples.
We've tried it the other way, and eventually, reasonable folks will stop screwing around or tolerating half-assed measures, and they'll simply move to the utilitarian approach.
Gottaways will become DRTs.

One bullet, one illegal prevented.
Game: OVER.

The toleration for watching the sixty-year sh*tshow on the southern border is nearing its breaking point.

So we either build that great big beautiful wall, or you guys out on post, asleep or awake, are going to be hiding on your floorboards while everyday folks implement Plan B at about 3000fps.

It's just not funny any more.

DLTDHYITAOYWO

(MORDOR - ABC) Minnesota Sen. Al Franken will resign from the United States Senate "in the coming weeks" he announced Thursday, a day after a number {That number would be 23 at last tally, or half of all the Democrats in the US Senate. -A.} of his Democratic colleagues called for him to step down amid mounting allegations of sexual misconduct against women.

Resigning...the minute he and the Demotard governor of Minnesota can agree on a suitable Vichy senator from the extreme left to appoint in his stead, until next November's special election.

He was also quick to note that he didn't recall ever doing anything bad, and that he was resigning because he didn't do anything dishonorable when he didn't harass all the women who misremembered him harassing them, in depth and detail, going back to even before he was in the Senate, with photographic proof and corroborating witnesses. ("Fakes! Lies!" shouted Franken-stein's psyche.)

What a fat, festering pus-bag.
He can't even go back to Hollywood, because they're binge-purging their shitweasel molesters too.
How sad.

Shitweasel. Douchebag. Unemployed.
Hat trick!