Friday, August 2, 2024

Putting the "Anal" In Analysis

You are a NO GO at the Tall Enough
 For The Internet station, bumpkin.















If you're going to take a whack at derpsplaining things on the Internet that are clearly beyond your basic grasp, maybe - just spitballing, mind you - some folks should pull back on their heads first until they hear a loud popping noise, and it suddenly gets brighter and easier to breathe.

Case in point:

This soopergenius codswallop from some halfwit who knows Jack and Shit about what he opines upon.

"Crooks’ canted his rifle to the left — which means the ejection port was facing to the left at about an 11 o’clock position — for the first three shots."

For the three non-gun-inclined folks reading that, and thus not falling about themselves on the ground in paroxysms of laughter, we post a reminder pic of a typical AR-15-style weapon: 












From this one pic, we can state authoritatively that this Internet Soopergenius has clearly cracked the case on how Rooftop Retard could miss anything as large as Trump from within Wrist-Rocket range:

That's because to "cant the rifle to the left" and get the ejection port to face 11 o'clock, Crooks would have to hold the rifle almost upside down.

Nice analysis, Dipshit.

(Unless he was holding the rifle assbackwards, and pointing it at himself. But were that the case, we don't think he'd have managed to fire 8 shots into himself, as the first one would have done the job it took the authorities several seconds to accomplish. So yeah, no, you're still an ignorant idiot for making this entire suggestion.)

Let's help Dr. Derpalot out, since he's obviously never fired anything resembling an AR-15/M-16 rifle in his life, and we'll use bright colors to point out reality:













So to eject cases to the left, by canting the rifle, Crooks would be holding that pistol grip at or beyond the 2 o'clock position, 2/3rds of the way (120° out of 180°) to completely inverted.

Odds that's what really happened: a gajillion to one, against. Duh. As GED dropouts in any ten basic training platoons could have told you in 0.2 seconds, going back only 50+ years to about 1966.

Maybe Dr. Derpalot should bone up on physics and common effing sense, not to mention basic riflery. Just a thought. In his dictionary, the word "beclowned" just has a mirror mounted in the column.

Just saying...















Don't quit your day job, Homer.

And maybe don't talk about things you're totally unfamiliar with, because then you won't be putting an ice pack on your wedding tackle every day, after you trample it with cleats on.














And if you're linking or excerpting this kind of ass-tastic analysis on your blog for anything but comedy relief, you probably need an ice pack for your own junk too, on a regular basis.

But thanks for a lay-up post for today. Those fish in the barrel weren't going to shoot themselves.

Blogging: Much easier if these are not your default footwear.


13 comments:

Tucanae Services said...

The author needs to go back to english class. The use of 'cant' is so obscure it took three dictionaries to find even a smidgen of application to the paragraph.

I noticed something else. On the website there is an aerial photo of what purports to be the shooter on the roof. Yet my understanding is that there was no air assets available that day. Questions...

Aesop said...

Multiple news agencies had traffic 'copters over the site right after the assassination attempt.
That's where the aerial shots came from.

Anonymous said...

The real gold is in the comments:
"I asked my best friend’s brother, who was a Green Beret in Viet Nam.."
"After he stopped laughing, he said “you don’t use an inaccurate pop-gun like that for a 150 yard shot, the most it’s any good for is 50.”"
Yeah, there's some sooper-genius thought going on over there.
--Tennessee Budd

Anonymous said...

"The author needs to go back to english class. The use of 'cant' is so obscure it took three dictionaries to find even a smidgen of application to the paragraph."

Seriously? I don't intend to be rude, but "cant" is not an obscure word, particularity not in this context, and if you care to read any instruction on marksmanship the text will likely use it to describe the fault in question.

Obscure would be something like using the word "pile" to indicate a hemorrhoid or the business end of an crossbow bolt.

-Grey Fox

KurtP said...

The only rifle in my mud room that doesn't have an ejection port on the right hand side is the .50 cal Hawken muzzle loader.
Because it doesn't use cartridges.

Robert said...

Cartridges from an AR-15 shooter land to the left of the shooter when they bounce off something to the right of the shooter. In the case of Crooks, perhaps this was the roof channel nearest to his right elbow.

Of course, that crime scene had been grossly altered by the time the photographer got up there. The body had been turned. The weapon had been moved. The cartridges had been scattered (or planted).

These details do not really matter all that much.

What matters is that a bunch of Secret Service people "looked the other way" as this was all set up. And somebody with a name gave them directions to look the other way. Who are the names?

Anonymous said...

I can ring the gong every shot at 600 yds no problem

Tucanae Services said...

Fox,

No argument, but in my lexicon 'cant' is a tool I use to move logs. So I plead ignorance. But I am probably not alone.

Tucanae Services said...

Aesop,

You maybe be right. But here is the NOTAM for Butler that day -- https://tfr.faa.gov/save_pages/detail_4_0050.html

A) Either they had a waiver. Or,
B) The photo was after 6:15.

Aesop said...

@TS,

The video I saw was shot in daylight, well after the rally, and the body, rifle, and his bag were all still there (they blurred the body), with no one from LE anywhere in the vicinity. They got the same-day video in time for the evening news coast-to-coast.

The version I saw was on the internet via SkyNews (from Oz), and plainly showed a full-length orange ladder to Rooftop Retard's immediate west, in the recessed alcove created by the passage from his roof to the next main building section, behind a couple of evergreens to the west (which would have shielded him and the ladder from easy visibility once it was set in place), less than 50' from the body, and with his bag of whatever-was-in-it between his body and rifle, and that ladder.

I find the subsequent bullshitsplanation from the FIBliars that Skinny Emo 'Tard magically shinnied up exterior piping and HVAC ducting, while toting both a rifle and an unknown amount of crap in a black bag, without anyone inside the LE sniper command center seeing or hearing him, just a tad bit full of shit without any video or other verifiable proof.

Him setting up a ladder, or climbing one thoughtfully provided by federal/LE accomplice(s), with both bag and rifle, and then crawling and "bear walking" along a hot metal roof as shown in multiple videos is far more plausible.

That he did anything besides get proned out on the ground at gunpoint for getting within 50 ft. of the building in question, let alone with all his gear and a weapon, is Far Beyond Insanity.

The assignment of Far Beyond Insanity to investigate immediately afterwards was rather hamfistedly obviously to provide TPTB an excuse to sanitize the scene and prevent any real investigation, as rapidly as possible, with everyone watching, and then enable the complete and ongoing gaslighting of the entire incident with handwaving and endless stonewalling.

Tucanae Services said...

Aesop, yeah, bringing in the sanitation crew so quick is questionable. More fun and games there is now a claim of a possible third shooter -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjAR03hS_H0&t=208s

At this stage I am all for flushing the entire Pittsburgh SS office plus the chain of command from there to Washington DC. DEI hires are good for one thing, they are by their own stupidity an easy target to fire. But that is too pat a solution or was she intended to be the goat?

Aesop said...

A non-zero number of federal badgeholes on the detail were DHS employees, not SS, (which was a large amount of the problem at the scene).

But everyone between Cheatle and the dingleberries on Trump's detail should be checking for counterfeit bills in McMurdo Station or Diego Garcia for the next ten years, or straight up fired, NLT two weeks ago.

Then the indictments for murder, constructive conspiracy, and gross criminal negligence should begin, with an option on federal murder, manslaughter, and attempted murder charges under 18 USC §1111ff.
Starting with the head of that detail, and working downwards and upwards until people start to have come-to-Jesus epiphanies.

PA has the death penalty, and once they're indicted at the state level for murder and conspiracy to commit, there are no pardons available from Uncle Joe, and tongues get all kinds of loose when one's head is on the chopping block.

John Wilder said...

11 o'clock???? whuuuut?