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Kurt Smolek, aged 45, missing State Department security agent linked to Shrillary Clinton, pulled from face-down floating position in Potomac River.
I'm guessing he was falling into the river, and attempted to tie a safety line around his neck, but when it broke, he had to signal for help, so he fired his pistol three times, all of which unfortunately struck the back of his head. This caused a headache, which he attempted to alleviate by taking an entire bottle of tranquilizers, then he attempted to get the safety cord off by cutting it, but drowsy from the barbiturates, the knife slipped, severing his throat in several places. Another tragic accident.
And like so many untoward expirations of anyone connected to the Clinton Crime Machine, just another unfortunate coincidence.
For the record, I'm very happy, feel fine, love my life, and have a number of future projects in the works that I'm looking forward to doing.
And I'm not above shooting Greedo first.
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