World Hide And Seek Champion : Bronze Medalist

h/t Vulgar Curmudgeon

British man tires of wife's nagging, goes and hides in woods for 10 years to escape:

(Solitary Bliss)A gardener got so fed up with his wife's nagging he ran away from home and lived in the woods for ten years.  

Malcolm Applegate, 62, was married to his wife for three years before upping sticks after the relationship reached breaking point.

He then made his way from Birmingham, where they lived, to London - making half the three-week journey on foot after his bike was stolen.

Malcolm said: 'I was married to her for three years, but unfortunately it got too much.

'First of all I met her in Eastbourne and I married her in Birmingham.

'For three years it was alright, we got on with one another and the gardening got too much for her.

'I just upped and left, I got fed up with her because we used to get so many arguments.

Take a hint, womyn: When a guy would rather camp in Happy Woods for a decade than hang around minute in Camp Nagistan, you're the problem.  

But while 10 years living in the woods is spectacular, the reigning gold medalist team continues to be folks like this guy:

Hiro Onoda: WWII Jaopanese officer

hid in Philippine jungles from 1945 until 1974

The man gazing from the forest fringe wore the remnants of an army uniform, and he carried a rifle. At the time of the encounter, he had been hiding in the interior of Lubang for almost 30 years, steadfastly continuing to wage a war that had ended with Japan’s surrender in Tokyo Bay on 2 September 1945.

The past’s name was Hiroo Onoda. He was an intelligence officer in the Imperial Japanese Army, he was then just shy of his fifty-second birthday, and he was about to become famous. 

Onoda had been on Lubang since 1944, a few months before the Americans invaded and retook the Philippines. The last instructions he had received from his immediate superior ordered him to retreat to the interior of the island – which was small and in truth of minimal importance – and harass the Allied occupying forces until the IJA eventually returned.