Thursday, October 5, 2017

Blistering Irony Attack Cripples Professor Snowflake

 
(Missoula)University of Montana professor Tobin Miller Shearer, director of the African-American studies program, said he noticed something was wrong right away Thursday morning as he passed the bulletin board in the Liberal Arts building on campus.
The day before, Shearer had posted a flyer outlining a new class he is offering in the spring: “White Supremacy History/Defeat.” 
But on Thursday morning, another sign — designed to look just like Shearer’s poster — had been put up atop his, this one detailing a fictitious course “Black Nationalism History/Defeat.”
Whoever made the new flyer had copied Shearer’s layout, including the font and location of a photo, and changing the bullet points of the course objectives from ones like Shearer’s “Implement and evaluate a project to dismantle white supremacy in the U.S.” to the same line directed at “black nationalism.”

Missouligans for the win.
10 out of 10, you Magnificent Bastards!
Clearly somebody at U of MT was paying attention in English class when they discussed satire and irony, so their suspect list for the inevitable witch hunt should start with everyone who was accepted with AP placement in English.


Professor Tobin (wait...really? A Black Studies professor named Toby? Where's the hidden camera? Wait...he's white?!? OMG, call the Double Irony Police!) Shearer rising to the bait so predictably pretty much insures this is only the first time he's going to be pranked, not the last. I predict students mocking his flyers to the this point


is probable for some good number of years, times every campus in every state.

I wouldn't know anything about that. At Cal State back in the day, any flier on a bulletin board had to have the Official Stamp Of GoodThink Approval on the corner. See if you can guess which blogger you're reading spent the first couple of weeks of his first semester there making an identical rubber stamp out of a big pink eraser with an X-Acto knife, and hammering the bulletin boards at will whenever the need was felt. What I wouldn't have given for Photoshop and PageMaker back in the day when there were pay copy machines at the supermarket, and computer games came on punched paper tape.

Expect the Wizengamot of the U MT Perpetually Offended Harpies of Faux Studies And Diversity Beans to fly in on their broomsticks at the speed of heat to quash this disgusting display of creativity and spontaneous emesis of the GoodThink in play on America's college campuses, at least in a state where there are still more antelope than liberals.
 
If you think this is terrible, and want to spare Shearer the embarrassment of wetting himself in public every day for the rest of his career, you could maybe send him a single adult Depends diapers (please, new only, no used ones) at

Prof. Tobin M. Shearer
U. of Montana African American Studies
32 Campus Drive
Missoula, MT 59812 
 
He's going to need them.
I won't be holding your hand, so if the return address happens to be the college, university, or TV station nearest to you, well, that's just hard cheese, right?
 
Or you could just e-mail him your thoughts at tobin.shearer@umontanu.edu, or tobin.shearer@mso.umt.edu. Clearly, he's got too much free time on his hands anyways.

You can even give him a buzz during Wednesday officer hours 1-3PM local time at
(406) 662-8227. Bonus points if you live in MT, and pay taxes for this sort of state-sponsored nonsense.

Or, you could just remember that the key to things in the near term is local, local, local. And maybe go see what you can find on a local bulletin board - anywhere - that's deserving of some similarly clever mocking.

Everyone should have a hobby.

And those fish in the barrel aren't going to shoot themselves.

8 comments:

Reg T said...

As I am only eighty miles south of there, I appreciate the info. I'm not quite old enough for Depends yet, but I imagine they can't be that hard to find.

Do they come in any color besides white? I wouldn't want him complaining of white privilege. Maybe RealTree™?

millerized said...

Adult (or baby) diapers and brown window caulking.

Returned to the wrapper once the caulking is dry, they can be used on demand.
With loving regards to my father, who taught me many of his fine tricks before his passing.
Magnificent Bastard indeed.

Anonymous said...

well the saying is: Missoula, 30 minutes from Montana. Please do not judge us Montanans on Missoula. Missoula city: over budget, increasing taxes, mini housing bubble, huge homeless problem, rising crime, rising drug problems, liberal school, liberal Mayor, liberal Sheriff....funny how things go to shit when they attempt to make their liberal paradise.

Weetabix said...

Three cheers for the return of Simon Jester!

Simon Maguire said...

A bit off topic but I've just looked on Amazon and there are book (kindle) about Stephen Paddock for sale. Some sick people will do anything for money One came (Who is Stephen Paddock? About Las Vegas Shooter and Mandalay Bay Shooting) out on October 2, 2017, the shooting was the night of October 1, 2017. This book must have written before the name was given out.One more came out on October 5 2017 (Stephen Paddock: A Psychopath's Motive). All I did was look for books with the words "Stephen Paddock las Vegas".

lineman said...

Hey Reg T we need to have a cup of Joe the next time I'm up that way...

lineman said...

Yea Missoula is our redheaded step child which when the festivities kick off will be like shooting fish in the barrel...

Reg T said...

millerized - funny you should mention that. I've actually - no kidding - got several tubes of brown caulking left over from an earlier project. I wondered if I'd ever find a good use for it.

Anon - don't forget to add that the mayor of Missoula (IIRC) stated that they were going to import as many "refugees" (muslim) as they could get - probably splitting the huge "resettlement" fee with the Lutheran Church/Catholic Church/or whatever organization dialed into the government giveaway of our tax dollars could be talked into sharing the wealth.


Lineman, sounds good, but as I just broke my left foot, it might be best if iit doesn't happen for at least a couple of weeks ;-) regt_2000@yahoo.com