Don't You Know Who I Used To Be?

Cornelius Crane Chase (74), AKA "Chevy".

"If you're under 50, you probably don't know who the hell I am.

Come to think of it, I don't entirely recall myself."

(NYFC) Chevy Chase tracked down a truck he says cut him off, but when he tried to confront the driver he ended up getting booted to the ground ... according to a police report. 

Chevy claims he was traveling over NY's Tappan Zee Bridge on February 9 when a black pickup cut him off. He told cops he thought the truck hit his car, so he flashed his high beams and followed it until the driver pulled over. 

According to police docs ... Chevy realized there was no damage to either vehicle, but approached the driver to "speak to him about his reckless driving." He claims there were 3 other people in the truck, and one of 'em flipped him off. Apparently not "Fletch" or "Caddyshack" fans. 

Chevy says he fired back, "If I were a lot younger I'd bust your nose" ... then one of 'em got out and kicked him in the shoulder so hard he went to the ground. 

According to docs, the pickup driver claims Chevy tried to throw a punch first, and the alleged kicker was just blocking Chevy's fist ... with his foot. 

Cops cited ol' quick foot for 2nd degree harassment with physical contact. 

There was a 3rd party witness who, according to cops, pulled over because he didn't want to see an old man "get his ass stomped."

"Tracked down", TMZ? The word you're grasping for is "stalking".
Or, dare I say it..."Chevy chased."
Sorry, you had that one coming.

Okay, so what we've got is an aging 74-year-old nobody, road rage-chasing an imaginary offender, who then accosted said innocent driver, and offering physical violence when they fail to recognize his former status, and getting his ass kicked for all that entitled crazy.

And, true to form, the NYPD douchebadges cited not Crankypants Lunatic, but instead the young innocent guy Crankypants tried to bully. New York's Finest, hoo yeah.

Chase, who hasn't starred in a movie in 18 years, and hasn't starred in a funny movie for 32 years, just learned that for washed up drug-addict has-beens, gravity works. And the do-gooder should have followed the MYOFB Rule, and let the decrepit not-so-funny-man get the ass-kicking karma decreed, because it's the only way any common sense is ever going to grow there, in the brief span of life left to him before Alzheimer's kicks in.

Chase is lucky it was a kid in a pick-up who's probably never seen his work. If he'd accosted a film critic in a Beemer who'd seen most of his movies, they'd have killed him.