Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Nork Dork




Supreme leader Ding Dong Dang has apparently been sniffing his own underpants and believing his own press releases, and now the shit-talking between him and Pres. Trump today has CNN in a full-on Missiles Of October shit-running-down-their-legs "OMG We're Going To Have A Nuclear War!" hissyfit.


Three options, as I see it:

1) Nothing happens. Just more ass-gas from Ding Dong.

2) Ding Dong launches something at Guam. If it's conventional, the B-2s will get some combat missions. (If anyone lives near the end of the runway at Whiteman AFB in MO, where they're based, IIRC, kindly give us a holler.)

3) DingDong Dickhead pops a nuke. Shortly after that, Trump becomes the first president to crack open the card and open the "football" some duty CWO is carrying just outside his immediate presence, then we drop a Trident D-3 warshot onto Pyongyang, and then shell the living shit out of every military facility visible. Probably twice, until the rubble bouncing gets boring.

China has two plays in any action we take:
a) decapitate the Norks pro-actively - and Kim ill Goof literally - and apologize profusely for letting him get out of hand. (Probably at 0-dark-thirty today or the next day, if they're so inclined.)
b) Stand down, and diligently inspect the tops of their sneakers.
c) Anything else turns into biblically epic levels of global thermonuclear war, which I don't see them undertaking on DingDong's behalf.

And hey: anybody notice what tomorrow is...?


Great sense of timing there, Nork Leader.


6 comments:

T-Rav said...

As someone with no firsthand knowledge of military matters whatsoever, my question in all this is whether there's any truth to the fears that NorK, which may or may not have satellites in low-Earth orbit already, could launch an EMP attack or something equally debilitating in response to any military action on our part. Any ideas?

J T said...

Great post, esp. on the China angle. B2s forward deploy out of Guam's Andersen AFB and in times of trouble float somewhere in the vast Pacific making busy work for refueling crews. If anyone's at Andersen you can tell how seriously the president takes things by how busy the tankers are - B2s only come in to change crews.

Aesop said...

@T-Rav
The answer to that question will arrive if and when the power grid where you live goes down.
After that, look up. Those contrails will be ICBMs erasing the Norks from humanity pretty much in perpetuity.

Your problems, OTOH, will just be beginning.

Anonymous said...

Approx. 60 ml NW of wafb, not really close enough for what you're looking for. however they generally move at night and follow a corridor towards the nw, east of kc and st j- good watching. anyway nothing going that way in any hurry last night or today as viewed from just north of mci.

Anonymous said...

I would love to see North Korea become a sheet of glass, so we can focus on more important matters.
Ned2

RandyGC said...

Given what I know (open source) about current NK systems, they can't quite yet get a warhead at the magic altitude to maximize an EMP burst over the US.

(assuming that the currently theoretical national power grid killing suborbital EMP hit actually works as predicted. A lot has been extrapolated from the STARFISH test and not really tested on a large scale, for obvious reasons).

AFAIK the only unfriendly nations with that capability are Russia and China, and both know that a single EMP burst is only going to piss off the missile launch and bomber crews in their hardened facilities and gain them nothing in survivability.