When the British TWAT (Taking Weapons Away from Toddlers) teams are trying to disarm the entire nation of anything pointy and sharp, it's impossible to parody them.
The Onion's London office has to be on suicide watch, assuming shoelaces are still legal there.
There was a time when this was a screamingly ridiculous parody:
Now it's a Scotland Yard training film.
But, while they have the opportunity, before the PC ban-hammer descends, a few last lively Brits are throwing the only sharp objects allowed to them: tweets for the TWATs on Twitter:
"Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad."
Mission accomplished, mischievous deities.
Hard time for rocks and pointy sticks can be the only step left before the entire island is conquered by an old man with a slingshot.
I hope he's French.
They could use a victory, and a fresh royal line would be good for even more laughs.