Sunday, March 25, 2018

You Don't Like The Budget? Take A Number, Bitchy Crybabies...

Here, lemme help you deal with your problem:

Because OMG, Holy F***in' Reality, Snowflake, you just this minute realized POTUS only answers to you once every four years!!!

And you want to pitch a bitch now?
Hang on a second, Baby Ducks, let me bring up another few material facts:


"Hi! We're the Flying Dumbass Douchecanoe Quadruplets! Remember Us?"
"J'accuse! It's HIM, Officer! THAT's the man who was raping my puppy!"
"Which one, ma'am?"
"You idiot! ALL of them! They're ALL HIM!"

So thinking back on the last 28 years of soopergeniuses, versus the most recent one, tell me again about how you just noticed things in Mordor are somewhat askew.

And for you Common Core grads, let me remind you of a salient point probably not covered for you at any point in history, unless you first arrived here from a foreign country, legally, and they made you read this thing a time or three:

 
So, bearing in mind the above, whose job is it to present the national budget?
I'll wait.
 
If this question perplexes you, because it was too hard...
 

return to the high school which granted you a diploma, and seek an immediate refund of your tuition.

For those of you who passed that little pop quiz, you know that Pres.Trump isn't the problem, these guys are:

Bitch McConjob and Quisling Ryan
If you know which is which without a hint, their real names, their actual titles, and why they're the ones with whom you have a beef, you are already smarter than 99.9% of everyone who voted in 2016. Tremble for the future of the nation.

Don't take my word for it; ask any ten people the above questions, and see how long before you find even one who can go 4 for 4 on those queries. And it's not much better in most newsrooms, since forever.

Besides that, you have a federal budget with 1300 pages, at a $Billion in spending per page. According to the last census, there are only 308,745,538 people in the US who have a bitch about any given page of the spending bill. Take an effing number, Jack.

We'll overlook, for the moment, that after eight years of HopeyDopey's hand-picked monkeywrenchers gang-raping the Pentagon pooch non-stop until it's bleeding, we have a Department of Defense where the Air Force has bought a plane which can't fly, the Navy has built ships that can't do anything, and carriers that can't launch airplanes, while the Army can't prosecute actual traitors, deserters, and open communists within its ranks, and the Marines couldn't fight off the Girl Scouts to hold the line on basic physical standards for infantry combat, which is quite simply the only reason to have a Marine Corps in the first place, and then tell me that the president was putting too much emphasis on rebuilding the military to be able to, y'know, actually do it's g**d****d JOB!

We'll also overlook the fact that the president never ran as a conservative, would still be a Democrat in at least 35 states, isn't my guy (as I noted here in some depth), but has nonetheless governed  as the most conservative US president bar none since Calvin Coolidge, leaving even Ronaldus Magnus himself a distant second, and achieved that status after only one year.

No, I see your point, you're right, none of that matters:
Let's bring back the stumbling, pathologically lying, mentally crippled alcoholic Lady Macbeth, Felonia Von Pantsuit herself.


Yeah, let's do that.


Or, just maybe, you could slather some Vaseline around your collar, get a good grip, and a well-forged crowbar, and pull your heads out of your sphincters until you hear a satisfying "POP!", your head goes from blue to pink again, and you feel much less mentally constipated.




Just a suggestion, mind you, if it applies to you, but no points for guessing where I think you probably ought to put your chips.

For the rest of you, you knew the vacation wasn't going to last forever. The honeymoon is over, and you aren't going to topple Mordor with one well-placed blow.

So maybe getting back on that plan to stockpile your own strategic necessities: beans, bullets, band-aids, bullion, etc., as well as make personal connections in meatspace with as many like-minded and well-heeled friends as you can personally amass, might be a more profitable investment of your time and energy.

If we have a pressing shortage of low-information fucktards throwing their diaper spackle at the internet like a gatling-trebuchet of poo, we can always download the comments page of HuffPo, or just call over to the green room at MSNBC.

Don't be Those Guys.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Aesop once again. I've been bitch slapping as many people as I can but my hands look like ground beef. Now I'll just forward this along with the "please take me off your email list, Sandy".

RR

Jim Rock said...

Ya, don't count PDJT out. Dollars to doughnuts he's got a trick or two up his sleeve.
ryanmcconnellpelosischummer will be whining before long i'll bet.

G Russell said...

I love this....

Jack Daniels said...

Amen!...thank you. I am so sick and tired of listening to folks go on about this.... winning winning and winning more UNTIL...he makes one 'mistake'...then, he's worse than obama and the clintons combined....

T-Rav said...

I agree with most of what you said, and I also still firmly believe that Trump is on "our" side, certainly by comparison with the Deep State uniparty lackeys who have been running the show the last 25-30 years.

That being said, I can't hold Trump blameless in this matter. Why did he wait until the 11th hour to raise his hackles over this POS budget? It's been coming down the pike for a month now, and only after it had passed Congress did he start making public noises about how bad it was and how maybe he should veto it. I realize he's got a lot on his plate, because POTUS and all that, but the budget is, well, kind of a big deal.

And no, he was never going to be a small-government conservative. I think we all knew that. But he had to have known that much of his base was going to be ticked off by not only the sheer size of the budget, but its actual content as well. Why wasn't he getting involved in that conversation? At the very least, he could have demanded that Congress pass a budget its members could actually read and halfway understand, rather than ram through a 1300-page monstrosity with only hours to read. (Not that most of them were actually ever going to read it, but it's hard to publicly ridicule a demand like that.)

As for the military angle, I don't want to press too hard on that since I've never served and therefore don't really know what I'm talking about. But I've heard plenty of talk about the sheer wastefulness of most military spending, and given how much money gets thrown around in Washington on useless projects, it isn't hard to imagine that being the case. So does that one thing, in and of itself, require accepting a horrible budget? Again, that's not my main hangup, and if you and the other vets here tell me I'm being an ignoramus about it, I'll agree I'm an ignoramus.

Bottom line: I think it was a big mistake for Trump to handle this budget the way he did, and it will have some bad effects on both his Presidency and the country. That doesn't mean he's suddenly less preferable than Hillary, of course, or that he's no longer worth supporting. Neither could be farther from the truth. But that doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't say this was a bad budget he ought to have vetoed or, better yet, made sure never came to his desk in the first place.

Aesop said...

You're perhaps familiar with the fact that they handed him the budget at the rhetorical version of 11:50? And that no one had seen the actual animal until the conference committee burped out the final iteration?
Because if the actual bill were around to tear apart for a month, they would've been rolled by Trump, let alone 300M angry constituents?

Or, was that news...?

Aesop said...

The president has two (technically three) choices with any bill:
Sign it.
Veto it.
Put it in his pocket (metaphorically or actually) without signing it (this is called, for obvious reasons, a "pocket veto").

If Two thirds of the house and Senate vote to override, it passes anyways.
If not, the entire government shuts down until they pass one he'll sign.

Think Cleavon Little holding a gun to his own head in Blazing Saddles, and saying, "Nobody moves or the n****r gets it!", and you have Pres. Trump's choices on this in a nutshell.

Perhaps take another whack at that, with this information handy.

Ain't nobody who likes this bill, except Bitch and Quisling, the people who engineered delivering it to Trump's doorstep, figuratively and literally, with no choices but political suicide or national destruction.

They - and their crony minions - hate Trump (always have, always will), which is why they did it.

Allen L. said...

There's a reason Congress likes a last minute omnibus budget bill. They can stuff it with all sorts of things and the President gets to be the one to walk the plank or not. You would think people would have figured out how things have been working in Congress for about the last 30 years or so.

Roger said...

Well said Aesop. Now we need an assload of people to work together
to at least replace the "speaker of the house" as he is up for
re-election in November. l Ya gotta start somewhere.

loren said...

I moved to Wisconsin for a number of excellent reasons but Speaker Ryan wasn't one of them. Unfortunately he's probably the most Conservative politician Wisconsin would elect.
As nice and hard working a people as you can find anywhere but they vote progressive, even though the Republican Party was founded there.
We'll be lucky if we can get rid of that useless carpet munching Senator we elected 6 years ago.
Maybe Sheriff Clark will give her a go?

Anonymous said...

I've seen theories about why he signed the bill that could make all the cry babies blush.

The military now has a yuge budget, which he can use to:
1) build the wall using the Army Corps of Engineers.
2) provide increased assistance to Saudi Arabia to take care of Iran's mullahs.
3) fund operations to take out NK nuke factories- some say this happened a few weeks ago, hence the impending "meeting" with Un.

Keep in mind this bill is good for only 6 months, after which he can line item veto anything in any bill until the end of his term(s).
He can also re-appropriate funds in this bill from one thing to another.

I do feel this man has exposed the uniparty for all it's sleaze and corruption, but don't feel that he's been absorbed by the DC machine/swamp at all. Hopefully it stays that way.

Don't think this one man can fix all the problems overnight. If our nation has any hope and future at all, it's going to take several generations to come around.
Ned2

Anonymous said...

Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone. I've had to tell more than one person more than once that Trump is not Dictator For Life. He presides over the congress. Also he's surrounded by enemies. I'd rather be on a hill in Korea encircled by commies than be in the position he's in.

Bob