Friday, November 28, 2014

I Guess This Means Liberia Can Cancel Christmas



(Liberian Observer) EBOLAVILLE - Dr. Atai Omurutu, head doctor at the Island Clinic Ebola treatment unit, has raised an alarm over the disturbing incidents of male Ebola survivors infecting their partners and putting entire families at risk.
Dr. Omurutu said wives of male survivors are being admitted to the facility because they have contracted the disease from their partners.
She appealed to the Ministry of Health for condoms to be given to male survivors in order to stop this mode of transmission of the Ebola virus.
She disclosed this new wave of infection to President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf when the President toured Ebola Treatment Units.
Dr. Omurutu, a Ugandan doctor, stated that once a person survives Ebola, they still have the virus in their semen for up to three months, therefore it is extremely important that male survivors abstain from sex during that period or use a condom to avoid infecting their partner.
I'm shocked! Shocked, I say, to find out that Ebola will continue to blossom for months longer in Liberia for the same reason that AIDS is endemic to Africa: lack of basic common sense or scientific reasoning skills among the population.

So much for Liberia's presidential hopes for "A Christmas without Ebola" in 2014.
But Ebola does have one small silver lining: it keeps the stupid people from breeding.
(With the unfortunate side effect of infecting and killing their spouses, and then by extension the rest of the family.)

Happy holidays from another disease that's a gift that just keeps on giving.

6 comments:

Greg in Allston said...

Without getting too graphic, while they're handing out the condoms to male Ebola survivors, are the authorities also dispensing 5.25% Sodium Hypochlorite lube to make sure that the precious bodily fluids are well neutralized after all of the fun and games? No? Bummer.

Regrettably, and somewhat fortunately, it's a self-correcting problem. ....Ultimately.

BTW Aesop, you have my heartfelt thanks for your blog.

Anonymous said...

The cynic in me says it's all a bullshit excuse. I.e., they need something to blame for a hideous jump in numbers they're about to report (since they can't hide it any longer).

mike18xx said...

Meanwhile, in the Ivory Coast, avoiding border checks is as easy as hopping off the bus (which requires ID and a $16 vaccination) and into a taxi ($2, and isn't checked), then back onto the bus on the other side.

But rest assured, "taking the Ebola threat very seriously".

A Texan said...

Without being too graphic, they should be depositing the remaining Ebola in their bodies into buckets full of highly chlorinated water. Maybe their wives can help them do that instead of volunteering for their own case of Ebola.

Anonymous said...

As backwards as Liberia is, do you think the average American knows how long Ebola can be transmitted via semen? It's just not something that has been reported widely, so, frankly, I think the same thing could happen here.

Anonymous said...

Most of the Duncan reporting mentioned that the virus was still present in semen. Presumably Dr Selfish was warned of that also. I guess we'll see if he spills his seed anywhere...

Average American? Most of them haven't been reading ANY coverage, and now that you have to seek it out, they certainly won't.

I'm curious if there is a parallel reservoir in female bodies, that just hasn't been discovered because it hasn't been looked for, or isn't as easy to access as semen.

It makes sense from the virus' stand point-- you got away from me, but I'll still get your family...

nick