Swallow anything in your mouth, set all beverages down. Seat belts optional, but strongly suggested. Anyone with incontinence issues maybe ought to double up on the Depends.
Tam: I Can't Stop Watching This
My sides still hurt, and I'm only up to the third run-through.
I would pay good cash money for the recording of the phone call to State Farm regarding the destroyed car.
3:1 odds the neighbors hold an intervention, and tell that family: "You're too stupid to live among us, and you've got 90 days to move out for good. But keep in touch. We'll be laughing at your exploits until you kill yourselves."
12 comments:
Jake is going to hang up on that call
That was a LOT of pyrotechnic power for the usual Chinese assortment of flash-powder and tissue. I'm thinking they got the deluxe package with the big red Fire-Marshal's warning on it; which warning they ignored. Damned lucky nobody got killed.
Not only did they have to call both the fire department and the insurance company, but I bet they also had to go get checked out at the ER--at least one of those kids was limping as he ran away after getting hit in the leg. So they got lectures from the Fire Chief, and the RN/PA/MD at the hospital.
Talk about where NOT to store your fireworks!!
Suz
I, myself, would enjoy reading the fire/police report.
I imagine that, spoken aloud, it would sound like G. Gordon Liddy reading to his radio audience the tale of the Darwin Award J.A.T.O. car, and cliff.
I stayed up watching over and over last night. More seriously, about twenty years ago a group of kids were driving around town throwing fireworks out the windows at passers by. I know all can figure out what happened when one of the fireworks failed to make it out the window and fell into their ammo dump. Two fatalities and one of the parents, a doctor, strong armed the city into banning fireworks. As if that works. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
I stayed up watching over and over last night. More seriously, about twenty years ago a group of kids were driving around town throwing fireworks out the windows at passers by. I know all can figure out what happened when one of the fireworks failed to make it out the window and fell into their ammo dump. Two fatalities and one of the parents, a doctor, strong armed the city into banning fireworks. As if that works. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Wile E. Coyote has nothing on these people :P
On the way to 4th of Jul fireworks 30+ years ago, a teenager set off a M-50 or M-80 (we did not have 1/4 sticks of dynamite when I was that age.) When we got to the main event, where the neighborHood had closed off the sideroads,and everyone brought out the lounge chairs. For 45 minutes we watched 4-6 grown men unload the Uhaul "deuce and a half". The professionals then put on a 20 minute fireworks display- I kept a good 200 yards away.
I liked the irony of the 'SimpliSafe' watermark at the top left.
Those are the people the warning labels were made for. If only they could read.
True story. My delightful sister-in-law, who was living in Alabama at the time, came up to celebrate the July holiday with us, bringing fireworks. Hubby’s brothers (who, at that time, were all prodigious drinkers), decided to set them off. I, being both sober, and also possessed of normal caution, started filling a bucket of water from the faucet.
They laughed at my caution. After trying to keep the incendiary device in an upright position, and finding that it merely sparkled in the ground, they had the brilliant idea to put another one into a glass soda bottle, and light it.
It fell over, and - as the video shows, spiraled around on the ground, shooting off sparks. At one point, it twirled under the neighbor’s car, still sparking like crazy.
I’ve never stopped holding it over their heads.
Middle of a summer about 60 years ago, saw the older brother of a friend toss a 1/4 stick into the canopy of a very large Oak tree in his own back yard. 100 ft tall? When the dust settled, there weren't much more than a handful of leaves left on the poor tree. Impressive blast front. I suspect that was not what he thought would result. He had detonated a couple of them in floating model ships in the creek, and that seemed much more restrained in power output. The water must have absorbed the blast a fair amount. Still, they were much more energetic than M80's.
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