Still Semper F*cked, but here's your kiss afterwards

h/t to WeaponsMan

General Bozo Pussypants Neller, Current Marinette Commandant
wonders "How am I going to gold-plate this litterbox truffle?"

New Marine Corps fitness standards weed out men, women alike
(for some English definitional values of the word "alike")

(Marine Corps Times via AP)

New physical standards established so women can compete for combat posts in the Marine Corps have weeded out many (which is softer than saying "all but ONE" -A.) of the female hopefuls. But they're also disqualifying some men, according to data obtained by The Associated Press.
In the last five months, six out of seven female recruits — and 40 out of about 1,500 male recruits — failed to pass the new regimen of pullups, ammunition-can lifts, a 3-mile run and combat maneuvers required to move on in training for combat jobs, according to the data.
The tests, taken about 45 days into basic training, force recruits who fail into other, less physically demanding Marine jobs. And that, the Marine commandant says, is making the Corps stronger.

Which is a lot better-looking lipstick on the pig that saying out of that data, 1460 men and one woman passed on to bigger and better things.

Still trying to spin pure bullshit into gold, Commandant Pussypants spews platitudes:

"I think that's made everybody better," Marine Commandant Gen. Robert Neller told the AP in his first in-depth interview on the subject. "We're trying to raise everybody's bar a little bit and we're trying to figure out how to get closer together, because at the end of the day we're all going to be on the battlefield and we all have to be able to do our job."

 "I have great respect for them being the pioneers in this area," Neller said of the women. "If they can compete and hang with everybody else, I think it will all just go away."

Which, in English, means this will NEVER go away, because in over 15 entire recruit training platoons, the Marines could only find 7 women who even wanted to try, and only one of them could "hang with everybody else" to meet even the most basic screening test requirements, and progress on to the harder tests to come.

If they were going to kick out the 40 men and 6 women (and every other one who fails henceforth) from the Marine Corps, then they "all" would be able to do the job. But Heaven forbid the Corps actually try to live up to its own reputation, if it required anything like courage and integrity, right Pussypants?

The odds of finding one woman who can make a 20-year career in the Corps at those standards is exactly 0%, precisely as the last 40 years of physiological testing data suggested. Getting even a 4-year hitch out of one female in combat arms should activate the Vatican criteria for certifying a documented miracle on earth. 

If we had a Commandant Krulak or Gray, let alone Walt or Vandegrift, or God willing comments from the likes of Lt. Generals like Chesty Puller or the Brute himself, the quote would have been

"The idea that women can ever do anything approaching combat in the Marines is farcical bullshit, spewed out of the SecDef's ass around his head, which seems firmly lodged so far up that orifice that it's a wonder he can find the physical capacity to answer his own phone, never mind run the defense of this nation.  

The job of the Marines is to fight and win America's wars, not salve the daddy issues of butched up lesbians on Capitol Hill and in the Pentagon on behalf of their imaginary Special Snowflake sisterhood, and we will be ceasing any furtherance of this monumental pile of horseshit immediately, Corps-wide, until further notice, or until the Secretary of Defense formally relieves me of my command, or refers me to court martial to answer for these remarks. I don't think that's a battle the Departments of the Navy or Defense are willing to undertake in open court using actual evidence. Tell your readers social experimentation just ended in the USMC, herewith."

But with the progression of high-heels-and-lace-panty-wearing commandants from Lame-us Amos, to Dipshit Dunford, to Pussypants Neller foisted onto the Corps by the current regime, and evidently the entire Marine Corps from the top down lacking the brains, balls, or backbone to tell the proponents of this silly shit where to head in, we'll hear nothing like that, and instead can content ourselves with the certainty that Marines, male and female, will needlessly fill up bodybags in the future to prove the utter stupidity and counter-reality of this course of action, when women inevitably physically fail to meet the challenges and accomplish the missions required in everyday combat since anyone started forming up in ranks to fight a foe. And every day from now until then, male Marines will be forced to pick up the slack for the lipstick-clad contingent.

Well done, shitbirds-in-charge.
And incidentally, you just made Marine recruiting duty a career suicide mission.
Which is the only good news in this entire sorry spectacle.