Monday, September 1, 2014

Back To School

As we approach (or in some cases, have recently experienced) the return to school of millions of yutes, I share a response from a recent forum where all of us resident geniuses were solving the problems of the world, in this case education:

US school problems are mainly with the parent/teacher/child relationship more than anything. Parents work to undermine any authority teachers may try to have over their children, and then wonder why their little angel is acting up in class.

:cry: :cry:
That is simply touchy-feely BS.

If there is any shock or disbelief at that assessment, I suggest trying to sell that line of goods to the instructors at a place known to most former attendees as "Boot Camp". Kindly report back to the class on how the attempted sale progresses.

1) Teachers are in charge of imparting knowledge of various subjects. No more, no less.
They have a wide latitude of means and stratagems ethically and legally available to them, but the only thing that matters at the end of the day is results.

Everybody with me so far?

2) Students are responsible for soaking this knowledge up, and then demonstrating mastery of it, on these things we call "tests".

Did I lose anyone?

3) When students fail to demonstrate some adequate level of mastery, teachers are responsible to issue grades which inescapably flunk those students on those subjects, regardless of the hard life little Julio or Cletus or Billy Bob had, the level of grief, distress, wailing, and gnashing of teeth on the part of his enabling DNA donors, their guilted out administrators' hand wringing over this outcome, or any number of rent-seeking sycophants who pander to anyone available on the issue 24/7/365/forever.
If this concept puzzles anyone, attend a league-organized baseball game, and note how infrequently the umpires at home plate and the bases consult either the players, dugouts, press box, or the crowd itself regarding the calls of "balls", "strikes", "safes" and "outs".

Everybody take your time, that was a lot for one point, I know.

4) When the little tykes max out at age 18 and twelve years' dutiful attempts beyond kindergarten by primary and secondary education to impart those lessons, their failings are not the school's problem, they're the problem of Our Heroes, Junior Fuckup, and his prom date BabyMama. With their report cards full of Fail, they can now look forward to a level of poverty unimagined in the wealthiest Third World Shitholes, including custom tennis shoes, air conditioning, big screen cable TV, and electronic gadgetry only dimly imagined even in First World countries as recently as the 1970s, all paid for from taxpayer largess that makes Oprah appear to be a tightwad.
Or, pink underwear, orange jumpsuits, and a lifetime supply of green bologna sandwiches, and non-stop lodging for life if Junior Fu can't master anything as linguistically complicated as "Would you like fries with that?" until either wisdom seeps in seasoned with adversity, or he qualifies for the twin fainting couches of Social Security and Medicare to carry him all the way to the River Styx.

As I've (along with probably 100M others) paid for all that by working virtually non-stop every non-school day since the age of 12, I frankly couldn't give a giant hairy fuck, whether the flying type or entirely non-aerial, about which result is obtained except to note that officialdom not looking at it that way currently squanders billions of $$$ that could have been spent on any number of more useful things than coddling, at this point, at least three generations of Junior Fuckups, BabyMamas, and their prodigious subsidized spawn, to the point that now they approach a permanent majority status in this country, to the detriment of civilization itself.

As the next stop on this particular morality play involves widespread societal bloodletting on a biblical scale, judging only by 6000 years of recorded history (for those decreasingly few capable of reading it in some form of written communication), I urge therefore that any kneejerk parrotage authored by the Professional Rentseeking Sycophantry be kept to bare minimum.

That concludes the lesson. I'm available for any questions...

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