Every year, Common Core education takes its toll.
Pro tip: Nobody re-attaches leftover fingers. They just go straight into the incinerator. And the phantom pain in what's left of that hand is forever.
Oh, and we're fresh out of spare eyes, too.
Word to your mother.
Fireworks are just one of the toys that bite back when used by stupid people.
ReplyDeleteAfter 45+ years taking x rays I have seen pretty much all that can be seen.
People playing with things that go kaboom are among the stupidest.
July 4/5 must not be your favorite days of the the year eh Aesop?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 12 years old, I participated in a school trip to Quebec City from Syracuse, NY. I don't remember all of the places we visited, but I DO remember the "fights" we had shooting roman candles at each other, even 54 years later. There must have been 200 people involved; not rioting, just having fun. We used trash can lids as shields, and the next morning our group participated in the park's cleanup. No one was injured, no one was consuming alcohol.
ReplyDeleteYoung, stupid and seemingly bullet proof. My wife and I set off fireworks a few times a year until about two years ago, when we both developed hand tremors that made it unsafe to continue.(We kept our cats inside so they wouldn't run away in terror). Getting old rots!
I hope that you have a nice 4th, and if you have to work no idiots come in with fireworks' related injuries.
30 years in the job. I don't touch the fireworks. I stand nearby and wait.
ReplyDeleteFAFO.
ReplyDeleteA guy I used to know lost his left eye and a hunk of his left hand due to an M-80, but it was not because of his own stupidity. A "friend" of his thought it would be a great joke to light the fuze of the M-80 he was holding while he wasn't looking. It did exactly what lit explosives do.
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I was at a July 4th bonfire party. There was a guy there that had these "firecrackers" that when they went off, shook the leaves on the surrounding trees. There wasn't much flash, but holy shit... the concussion was incredible. After about the 5th or 6th one other partygoers were getting pissed, and the host told him to knock it off.
True enough.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.sheltonfireworks.com/fair-play-sc
Never played much with fireworks, but as a kid back in the 80's me and a few friends used to put black powder from one of the Dad's reloading station in soda cans and toss it into a camp fire.
ReplyDeleteGreat fun and only moderately dangerous in our eyes.
One day he had this new powder, Pyrodex lets give it a try boys.....lets just say after picking out all the shrapnel, we stopped playing with things that went BOOM!
Besides BB gun tag was much more fun anyway.
Biggest problem was setting the lawn on fire. The next town did a roof. Loved the Flash/Bang. Happy! Happy!
ReplyDeleteGood test of common sense. As i got older, always a sober "range officer" to call the shots. (it used to be Dad) We were big on safety wire and paracord. The lights were still wonderful. The Ladies held back but were drawn to the bright colors. Someone has to scare the "Dragon". We did our best.
One of life's most enduring lesson is to have a firecracker blow up in your hand. You don't know how much it hurts until the numbness goes away.
ReplyDeleteSmart people learn from other people's mistakes.
ReplyDeleteDumb people learn from their own mistakes.
Really dumb people put both hands on the hot stove.
And running serpentine won't help you.
ReplyDeleteLong ago there was a crash by a rather stupid sort. He hd a open box of M-80s or cherry bombs, sitting on the seat of his car, right next to him. He was lighting them off a cigarette, and throwing them out the window as he drove along. The LAST one he threw hit the window sill, bounced back, landing in the mostly full box of the explosives. It was bad. No, it was not me.
ReplyDeleteSemi-smart people learn from their mistakes.
ReplyDeleteSmart people learn from other peoples mistakes.
Really really smart people can figure it out before it happens.