How We Undid It - wherein we scoop the Babylon Bee!

"Who's sorry now, Chlamydia?
Suck it, bitch!"

(Aesociated Press) BREAKING -

Highly placed sources in the Harris campaign have revealed what they believe is smoking crack gun evidence of how they lost the election, with conclusive proof it was all Biden's fault.

In a detailed allegation, they explained in depth and detail how Sam Brinton, the disgraced transvestite kleptomaniac appointed by the Biden regime as the perfect man woman person to oversee nuclear waste (what could possibly go wrong there?), was recalled from ignominious disgrace to be the key player needed to help undermine and ultimately undo the Harris/Walz presidential campaign, literally at the last possible minute.

In a story reminiscent of James Bond, the explanation is that in Operation Cornpop,  Brinton was assigned, by Biden loyalists still seething at the coup that ousted Joe from his re-election bid - to travel by air from Miami to Dallas on November 5th. During this trip, using his acknowledged expertise in luggage theft, he stole five suitcases - two in Florida, and three in Texas - containing tens of thousands of pre-printed mail-in ballots for Harris and Walz from those respective states, shortstopping them from getting to their destinations with Harris campaign operatives in crucial precincts in each state, in order to run them through ballot counting machines in both states thousands of times on election eve.

Brinton bringing home the goods at a Dallas suburb
 safehouse at the end of Operation Cornpop.

As a direct result, lacking those ballots, in neither state was the Harris campaign able to manufacture an additional 2,000,000 imaginary votes in each state, which familiar Blue Hump would have swung 70 electoral votes from Trump to Harris, changing a resounding Harris defeat into a stinging trouncing of Trump, and moving the tally from 312-226 in Trump's favor, to 296-242 into Harris' favor, and making her the first Indian Black cackling 80-IQ prostitute to occupy the presidency.

Laying out the details of the successful caper, one key staffer remarked, "Hey, it's one thief robbing another thief. What are they going to do? Call the cops on us?? As if! Sometimes, you just have to shank a skank to get respect!"