Monday, April 22, 2024

Hey, Lamestream Newsholes

And while we're up... 

Seen today on CNN, Fox, or some other idiotic channel:









Dear Media Muttonheads:

That silly-assed chyron implies that somewhere in Florida, there are friendly, gregarious, happy-go-lucky alligators that wouldn't regard two-legged deer as an item lower than themselves on the food chain at every opportunity.

Alligators aren't vicious. "Vicious" implies deliberate and conscious forethought. There is no premeditation and moral calculus going on in a reptilian brain the size of an almond, provided with rows of sharp teeth like a picket fence. They're simply being alligators, you incredible bunch of idiotic fucktards. If you want to be pedantic, there aren't any alligators other than vicious, which at minimum makes the adjective retardedly redundant. It's as uselessly duplicative as writing "idiot reporter" or "stupid TV news editor". Any journalist nowadays might as well just wear a dunce cap everywhere, and save the expense of printed business cards. 

This kind of silly horsesh*t is what happens when news outlets hire J-school graduates to write the chyrons, who place somewhere between midwits and morons on the college graduate IQ scale.

For the benefit of media morons everywhere, the only friendly alligators in recorded history were last seen during the Ponchielli Dance Of the Hours segment of Fantasia in 1940. They exist nowhere in real life, and if you'd only hire people who didn't learn everything they know about the planet from watching cartoons, and think that's real life, you bunch of self-important idiot savant dipshits wouldn't to be smacked about the head and shoulders with cluebats like this reminder 24/7/365/forever.

But at least it explains why Biden seems smart to you: Because compared to you all, he is.

9 comments:

  1. Well there is this... Per PGA rules should a 'gator eat your ball its a one stroke penalty. I don't know what the stroke penalty is if a Jurno has his balls eaten however...

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  2. The Buddha would say that an alligator has the Alligator Nature.

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  3. I thought the Crocodilians dancing with Hippos in tutus in Fantasia were Crocodiles not Alligators. Since in 1940 Hippos and Crocodiles were together in Africa.

    Until Escobar imported Hippos to Venezuela in the Eighties they were no African American Hippopotamus to dance with Gators.

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  4. A few days ago you commented on wrsa being back. Easy come easy go? It seems it's down again. Any indication as to if it's under attack or coding is hard?

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    Replies
    1. yeah, what's up - or, more accurately; not up - with WRSA?

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  5. THIS type of angry writing is what you do best. Leave politik alone and do. More. Of. This.

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  6. Is not that crayon eating comment (ref newsholes)an insult to Marines, everywhere?

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  7. No, it's the other way around.

    Other services call Marines crayon eaters because they're jealous, and have never tasted purple after 20 days straight of MREs.

    Journos are crayon eaters because they've never tasted anything other than crayons.

    Hope that clears it up for ya.

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  8. Journalists - we don't hate them enough.

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