Friday, April 12, 2024

Dumb F&@king Squids



















It should be understood from the outset that I have no actual animus or disdain for the airedale aviators of the brownshoe navy, the bubbleheads of the silent service, the bosuns of the surface fleet, the throat-slitting amphibians of Navspecwar, nor for the lowly messmen of the gator freighters, nor even the clerks and jerks at shoreside bases, dedicated professionals and brothers in arms one and all.

But when a commissioned officer of the US Navy steps on his dick so publicly that everyone from SecNav and the CNO downwards has to concoct excuses and scramble for cover, it's pretty clear that all semblance of any sort of professional military organization has gone down the shitter and been flushed out to sea.

(For those blissfully unaware, the scope on that weapon is installed backwards, and the lens cap is still in place, leading one to question whether Goldbraid Numbnuts there could have managed to hit the ocean's surface even with gravity helping him out. The Navy Recruiting dorks, who used to go by the helpful description of "press gangs", had to pull the pic from a national recruiting ad campaign, and it's now safe to say that the pic of the screw-up will be far more widely seen - and laughed at - than the entire actual recruiting campaign ever would have been. Especially in Marine, Army, Air Farce, and Coastie barracks and wardrooms. Blood on the quarterdeck, swab jockeys.)

Congratulations, Captain Squidly, you've done more to embarrass the United States Navy in one picture frame than did two aircraft carrier fires during the Vietnam War. And against monumental odds, finally made the US Air Farce seem competent and professional by comparison.

Hence the title of this post, repeating a phrase uttered by hundreds of thousands of Marines, millions of times (usually, about once a week), every time they cast a narrow-eyed and disbelieving glance upon the antics of the sister service and its minions, around the world, probably since five minutes after the first detachments of Marines shipped out aboard Continental Navy ships in 1775.






13 comments:

  1. Aesop, there are three takeaways from this photo. First, the destroyer captain is an idiot who played along with a photographer and struck his "macho" pose for the public. The last I heard, guided missile destroyer commanders didn't engage an enemy all that often with small arms.

    Second, the Navy doesn't even have competent armorers that can properly assemble firearms for shipborne use.

    Third, the public will be better served if sailors avoid becoming laughingstocks and stick to pushing buttons, monitoring screens, and mopping decks--Navy SEALS and a few others being an obvious exception.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everyone who has been in the military knows that they have a trained firearms tech who maintains the weapons. This scope was intentionally put on backwards. Someone got in big trouble for that stunt. However the fact that the officer didn't recognize it and choose to pose for the picture does tell you something about our military leadership.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have a dream....

    The Capt received a less than stellar fitness report on his last review. Pissed he applies a little revenge as the photo op approaches. Plan in place he steps onto the fore deck port side and lets loose with the cameras rolling...

    Its a nice dream. Be even funnier if a Marine had set the weapon up on purpose. Sadly Marine ship detachments are nearly extinct. Its all on you Navy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm actually surprised by this degree of stupidity, given my frequent interactions with the USN engineering community over the course of several designer contracts. The ones I worked with were, to a man, well qualified and knowledgeable professionals. Sigh. I guess that I'm glad I'm retired, but there's a part of me that still hopes there are some capable people left in the services.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sure there still are.
    It's just that it used to be 90% of them (there's always The 10%), and now it's more like the other way around: 10% competent, and 90% walking clusterf**ks.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Half a mind that armourer set Captain up, Captain on my boomer was confident he was on track for admiral, made some comment that little inside command could effect that, well it didn't work out so well for him. Crew loses faith in Captain ,or passively turns against one ,is an ugly thing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree. Sad what the USN has become.
    Concerning one of the carriers that burned, I served aboard USS Forrestal (CV 59) on her last Med cruise, in 1991. She had a long career.
    --Tennessee Budd

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey, maybe he was trying to replicate an Old School OEG site! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know that's a marines M4 with the VCOG. So are the Jarheads now just as fucked like it looks. The question is, Was this done on purpose to fuck with the squids and the CO got accidentally in the pic or are there more weapons setup like this in the armory? If it was a prank gone wrong,There is a Gunny on this ship that's so fucking mad after the CO fucked him for an hour, took a break, then fucked him for another hour, that the marines responsible might as well jump overboard and save the pain that's coming.
    This would be a legendary Marine prank. Whoever did it would never buy drinks again.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Icy, capital "M", as in "Marine", or "Marine's". It's important. And the pictured officer is an idiot; furthering our secure knowledge that when we're going somewhere to fight, these clowns drive the boat for us. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  11. someone handed him that rifle like that on purpose, and got a good giggle out of it.

    I was a sailor, that's the kind of shit we'd do to each other. because we could.

    this is the same sort of guys that would tell newbies the relief tubes in the back seat of the helicopter were "backup communications devices" and to yell into them to see if they worked. or go to the marine squadron next door for a Gunny Punch.

    they tried both of those on me my first days at the squadron. I knew what a relief tube was, and what a gunny punch was, and didn't fall for either of them.

    ReplyDelete