A Modest Proposal

h/t Wilder

"Well...Bye!"

Let's admit the obvious: Scott Adams is still too laissez-faire on the underlying problem.

Implement Lincoln's Solution.

We tried to assimilate them, but there are some things that cannot be accomplished solely with good intentions.

If populating the Joint Chiefs, Congress, SCOTUS, and the White House aren't enough for them, admit defeat, and end the experiment forever. Cut the bullsh*t, and end White Guilt.

Ship the entire race back to Africa. Lock, stock, and barrel. Not voluntary: 100% mandatory. Eliminate the entire category in the U.S. Ban any further immigration of same, in perpetuity. (It isn't like they could hide anywhere in plain sight, is it?)

If you're Black, You Go Back.

And the halves, quatroons, eighths, and sixteenths left behind can worry about either flying right once and for all, or seeing the bar for permanent deportation lowered until the problem resolves.

No more prison. Just a boat ride out, for good. First class, all travel expenses paid, no returns ever, with whatever they could carry off in their baggage. Don't harm a hair on their heads, just shuffle them up the gangplank, and shove off with the lot. Same way they got here, albeit under better accommodations for the long-overdue return journey. 

Convicts and jailbirds too. Free at last! Over there. Reparations: Paid in full. Game Over, man.

Imagine waking up in a country without Whoopi Goldberg, Stacy Abrams, or Maxine Waters. Ever again.

Move them back to a continent where every single day is Black History Month, and they can wallow in their cultural heritage until they die. They should all be properly ecstatic at the news. Encourage the rest of the hemisphere to do the same too. From the Great White North to Tierra Del Fuego. Let their people go! It's the only decent approach.

The mean IQ of all continents involved would go up 30 points overnight, and the crime rate in America the following year would give San Marino, Liechtenstein, and Monaco a run for lowest on the planet. Traffic jams get 13% better in a week - except at the docks - and the murder rate in Chicongo, Philtydelphia, Detroit, Newark, Altanta, and among the Baltimorons drop by 90% by the end of the year. All of D.C. looks like Georgetown by a week from Friday. The bottom would drop out of the welfare market too. Boo frickin' hoo.

Revisit in 20 years, and see how real Wakanda is. And in the meantime, we can focus on things that matter, instead of listening to the unceasing whiny tantrums of the world's pre-eminent millennially problem children, for whom nothing enacted is ever good enough.

Even odds if we made one step in that direction, the sane 20% of that population would start whacking the crazies and criminals in droves, until the problem self-corrected short of anything as simple as continental repatriation, but either way, it's a win for the nation.

Change my mind.

And furthermore, Diversitas delenda est.