(WASHINGTON DC) Amidst the backdrop of a record-breaking fourteen failed attempts to elect a House Speaker beloved of the chamber of commerce bought-and-paid-for hacks making their party what it is today, before finally settling for the newest king of mediocrity, knowledgeable GOP sources leaked news that the RNC has gone ahead and changed party mascots.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, they stated "It's time for a new look. We're dropping the elephant as outdated and near extinction, and our new mascot is what we're all about: ancient, near-sighted, lumbering, fearsome, destructive, dangerous to anything moving, and an evolutionary dead end. This choice fits exactly who we are, and have been for quite some time."
Other sources were conflicted, stating the change is only an interim mascot choice, as talks are already underway to adopt the pentagram-wearing horned goat on Beelzebub's throne as the final mascot, for when the Dems and Repubs finally announce publicly the permanent and formal formation of the Uniparty, sometime in the next few years. "We're just waiting for the Antichrist to reveal himself. Then we can rid the country of these destructive internecine party fights forever," stated gin-soaked hag Pelosi, in between swigs from a box of Boone's Farm Strawberry Delight.
RNC mascot should be a shit weasel.
ReplyDelete"a record-breaking fourteen failed attempts to elect a House Speaker..."
ReplyDeleteIn 1856 it took 133 votes over the course of two months to elect a Speaker, and a mere 44 votes in 1860. So fourteen is just getting warmed up.
('course, the next item on the 1860 agenda was that little North-South fracas. Just sayin'...)
Aesop,
ReplyDeleteYou must admit that there are many, many honest politicians in our government.
Honest? Once they've been bought, they STAY bought....
In 1860, William Pennington was confirmed as Speaker of the House after two months of gridlock over Republican John Sherman. We all know what happened next.
ReplyDeleteOne wonders just how closely history will rhyme this time around.
If the Left wants it, they want it, but not so much. If the Left doesn't want it, they don't want it either, but not so much.
ReplyDeletenow, the creatures that really run this shit, can let the Potato keel over; then the Giggling Whore can resign or what not; and Speaker Placeholder can run the shitshow until Garbage Nuisance takes over in '24.
ReplyDeleteBet me.