Kapitan Ahabski Demands: "Get.That. Whale!"

 

We have a banana republic fraudulent selectee who shits his pants and babbles incoherently.

Russia has a psychotic megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur. (Cue the anonymous butthurt poo-flinging monkeys in comments.)

Now he's trying the 800 lb. Gorilla Bluff, to buy his way out of the most epic politico-military miscalculation of modern history. Perhaps by the kiloton.

He blames the West for rattling the nuclear saber, when he himself has done it first, times beyond counting since December.

He's scapegoating his own forces' manifest total incompetence, and inability to prosecute what should have been a week-long occupation, onto NATO Nazis directly making war on his drunken bumpkins. He's forgotten that the only people in Russia who fought actual Nazis are 95 years or more old, or dead. Mostly dead.

And he thinks he can bluster this into a "democratic" solution amidst the war he initiated by annexing the Sudentenland and Alsace after a fake election or three, in which he'll win 137% of the votes. Yeah, everyone will fall for that.

He fiddles faster, while Rome burns. And his alliances of convenience with China and India are getting shakier by the day, right before his eyes. His own "allies" aren't buying the bullshit anymore.

Greatest probabilities? This ends one of two ways:

1) This asshole has no choice but to go all-in on his busted straight, and he starts a global thermonuclear war. (Because just what you want to do when your best troops can't handle a neighbor fighting at 1/10th your strength, is to get more countries wanting to take you on.)

2) He has a 9mm stroke through the earhole, his brains are scattered all over the desktop opposite him, the general with the smoking gun throws in the cards, and there's a sudden change in leadership in Russia.

There is no likely third way out that's anything but a distant hope.

At any rate, these are exactly the actions of a desperate man, losing his war soundly, not someone waging 47D chess against a puny upstart. Even those gargling his junk have to see that, and admit the obvious.

(BTW, the Ukrainian offensive, north and south, hasn't halted, merely slowed, and Russian forces are continuing to get their asses handed to them and/or retreat faster than they can stabilize their lines. How sad.)

And your entire future on this planet comes down to the sanity and circumspection of his senior military and political staff. The fate of the world now hangs on the wisdom and sobriety of senior Russian generals.

Oh, Greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaat. What could possibly go wrong?

Got bunker?

This guy is Hitler in the bunker, ordering counterattacks by divisions that no longer exist, as the rubble sifts from the ceiling onto his maps.

Cue the rant meme videos. They'll be absolutely accurate.

And best be working on some underground habitat.

No, REALLY.

Putin has forgotten the obvious: No one negotiates with terrorists.

If he expects a diplomatic solution, Step One is to march all his dipshits back into actual Russia, and return to the status quo ante. Which, at this point, would probably include returning Crimea to Ukraine too, before any further discussions.

No? GFY. Enjoy the Grad Soufflé with Shrapnel Sauce.