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| Named Isis (courtesy of an old Star Trek episode), but never called that (she wouldn't have come anyways), if there's a cat afterlife, she's probably expecting to be waited on hand and foot there too. |
The cat I didn't want has become the cat I didn't want to lose, but she came and went at her own whim at both ends. I got her when a neighbor abandoned her, declawed and defenseless, in the complex parking lot, and moved to Utah. But cats can spot a sucker a mile off, and I was adopted once I figured out her predicament. In return for both studied indifference and loads of undeserved affection, along with an endless stream of litter box nuggets, all she demanded since she adopted me was constant feeding, perpetual attention, and regular replenishment of fresh sand. Wherever I went, there she was, and her favorite was to sit at my feet rumble-purring for hours, with occasional trips to the lap for more attention, interrupted only for food and naps. After eight years of living high on the hog with the run of the mansion, she was feeling poorly the last couple of weeks (the vet suspected cancer, but couldn't confirm it), and so I was tending to her when home most of the month. After working the last three nights straight, when I got home she looked this morning like today would be her last, and so it was. True to form, she made a bit of a mess, but perked up when I got home, drank some water a few times, and regularly switched her tail when I talked to her, until the last couple of hours, and died as I held her a short while ago. Which at least solves the problem of her suffering. Mine, not so much, so she remains to the end a bit of a bother. She would have purred about that, and looked at me like butter wouldn't have melted in her mouth with her usual "What? Who, me?" look.
I have some things to take care of, so other than tomorrow's weekly post, I'll be offline for some while, and get back to this in a couple more days, when I'm feeling like it.
I was done with having a cat after the last one died, but that didn't stop this one from showing up uninvited, so who knows? In the short term, at least there'll be less cat hair on everything to contend with. I would also note this isn't a bleg for any sympathy (though any wishes are appreciated), but merely to explain my absence for a day or three, in advance.
So sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThe critter had a good life with you, not just as a pet, but a part of life.
ReplyDeleteMy Regrets.
Haxo feels your pain, amplified: a couple weeks ago one of my 2, a 20-year-old black & white foundling named Max, died of sheer old age...and in real agony over several days. Maybe I should have had him put down...but just could not do it. I got over it quickly though, and hope you do the same: in my case, cat#2, a young male tiger-stripe, also a foundling, is a big help. Right now he's asleep on the desk, in between a space heater and the computer keyboard, blocking all the heat.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine my life without my standard Yorkie, Max.
ReplyDeleteBut I do understand how you feel right now, and hope you can smile again in a few days.
With deepest condolences,
Chuck & Max
In the vet's waiting room I sang softly to her, oh my D dog. When the vet came in I started drowning in tears and stroked her and continued to sing as he inserted the needle. And as I watched the light leave her eyes I knew I was saying goodbye to someone who was much closer to God than I ever would or could be. I carry her in my heart always. I feel your loss.
ReplyDeleteCats get a bad rap from a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing the personalities the little varmints develop, each one just as individual as ours.
They can be cheap entertainment at times and very destructive when they feel like it too but there is no denying that they will show their love and affection for you whenever the urge strikes them.
I have had my latest cat at least nine years now, got her as a kitten so small she fit in the palm of my hand.
At one point we had nine of the damn things. We are down to three after the 19 year old one I inherited from my parents died last year. Several of them were feral to begin with.
Some go out and never return, you were actually quite fortunate to be there at the end.
My condolences.
Give it time, if you like cats, one will find you whether you want one or not, just like that one did.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that one of the three we have now was acquired just as yours was. The neighbors moved and we got a new cat.
ReplyDeleteHe's quite the yowling asshole so we get along just fine but he is my wife's cat, just the way he wants it.
Cats can be real A-holes, but they have a way of sneaking into our daily lives without us realizing it. Sorry to hear of its passing, but glad that its suffering has ended.
ReplyDeleteYou take all the time you need - we'll be here patiently waiting.
Sorry for your loss, pets are better company that most people.
ReplyDeleteFitty
sorry man. take a few, have a few, shity when you deal with death at work and the reaper follows you home.
ReplyDeleteHurts no matter how long you did or didn't have them, losing a pet is always hard. Sincere sympathies, and condolences.....
ReplyDeleteJim
She will be there to greet you at the Rainbow Bridge, as will our Emily to greet us.
ReplyDeleteShe also moved in from the neighbors, for the next 18 years, the last year of which we gave her shots for diabetes. At the end, we finally had to put her down. Some things are just meant to be. A few weeks later, a bedraggled starving female showed up in our back yard. She put her paws up on my daughter's thigh begging for food. We took her in and named her Zoey.
The vet said she was about two years old, healthy, and already had been fixed. She is a mid-length hair calico. Calico's are the red heads and thinkers of the cat world. So yeah, we adopted a teenage, redhead, female, feline. If she liked you, she really, really liked you. If not, fur-covered skill saw.
She about thirteen now, has mellowed considerably, and moved with us to Texas. She is sacked out on my bed as I type this, front leg draped across her eyes, snoring.
One light goes out, another comes on. Hope it helps to know that we out here understand.
Take whatever time you need. A good friend is hard to lose. When my last German Shepard passed way to early I felt the same amount of grief as I did from a human family member passing. They have a way of getting under your skin and into your heart. Much much better than some human company. I swore off of a lifetime of pets. 7 months later a new GSD puppy was in the house and at two years old he is my constant friend and companion. Spend more time with him than I do with the wife. I'm a sucker and animals seem to sense it. I predict you will end up with another down the road a bit.
ReplyDeleteWhat the man above said, almost word for word. Cya when you get back.
ReplyDeleteI waited 30 minutes in the vets to put down my Lily (DLH feline 8 yrs old, kidney failure) while the kids and wife were camping. Hardest 30 minutes of my life, due to a dog getting hit by a car, including the commando course at CTCRM . Then they wouldn't let me do the injection. Damn vets thinking I am weak and not being able to do it. Well, yes I am. my family, even pets, make me weak. Don't touch them and you will be fine (f with them and the beast comes out). Then we got 2 new ones 6 months later after the kids went to the same vets with their grandmother and my wife. Shade and Ghost are now 3 and love us more than we know it. Cats are great, especially when they are trying to take over the house and kill you on the stairs.
ReplyDeletePeter
Understand how you feel and you have our sympathy. When our Loki passed he had been with us for 19 years and we decided we would get out of the cat business...losing them was too painful...we have two now. Found one hiding in the woodpile on a cold stormy Oregon coast night and one came in on a 20 degree snowy day in the mountains of Arizona...left to fend for himself. Better company than most people.
ReplyDeletebobbookworm and Mrs. bookworm
I feel for ya. I lost my favorite old rescue cat cat a while back and I still miss her.
ReplyDeleteMy sympathies.
Condolences, brother.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss. My whole family and I are cat people, and we've lost quite a few along the way. Take care.
ReplyDeleteAnd incidentally, anyone who would declaw an animal and then abandon it in the wild is a special breed of asshole.
Dogs and cats: little souls but they take up a lot of room in your heart.Most people have neither the dignity nor the compassion of most animals. The hardest part of loving an animal is losing it. But homeless dogs and cats always know when there is room at the Inn.
ReplyDeleteThe association amongst sentient beings is like that of two logs floating in a river that are brought together by currents and circumstances over which they have no control or understanding, and then separated again by other currents and circumstances.
ReplyDeleteHere's to wishing that she has realization in her next embodiment.
@ Robin Datta, that's a sweet thing to say! @ Aesop, My ten kitties and I feel for you. Metallicman, as you probably already may know, has some great stories about kitties and their passing. Regards, Ohio Guy
ReplyDeleteAesop, sorry for your loss. It’s amazing how they grab your heart even when you don’t think they do.
ReplyDeleteOur love for pets may not be completely rational, but it is real. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.
ReplyDeleteOur two cats send purrs, tail-high brush-pasts and plaintive meows for your loss. It's funny how they sneak their way into our hearts, isn't it? Then, when their time comes, they leave a cat-size hole in our hearts . . . until another one of their tribe spots it, says "Aha! That's just my size!" and moves in.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss.
Our oldest rescue, a feisty little Manx we adopted from a shelter many years ago, suffered either a stroke or blood clot last Sunday night. She was already deaf, and we think that she lost her sight when the stroke happened. We took her to the vet in the morning and held her until the vet injected her. We've had many cats over the more than forty years we've had together, and it never gets any easier. We still have four left, including another elderly cat we adopted when we came to Cincinnati a few years ago. His health is fading, slowly.
ReplyDeleteNo more swats on the leg when she isn't getting fed fast enough, no more accidents or diarrhea, no more bullying of the other cats by this 6 pound queen, no more dishes of milk at breakfast, and no more long evenings reading the aerospace trade journals with her sound asleep on my lap. Clementine's passing has left another hole in my wife's and my heart.
My sincere condolences over your loss. Take whatever time you need. We understand...
In the words of the Tin Woodsman,"Now I know I have a heart,because it's breaking."
ReplyDeleteWhether it's a dog or a cat,they just make our lives better.
Really sorry for your loss,Aesop.
I'm 'down' to 15 plus the strays that live nearby and eat here. It changes how you look at life with each one in, and each one out. While all you might have felt you got was hollow stares and a 'servant, where is my food' attitude from them, what you really got was a different look at life.
ReplyDeleteWe know going into it that we will outlive nearly them all. But we willingly do it every time.
Know that they'll be there waiting when you cross over. They probably won't care, but they'll be there. Unless you happen to have pocket full of the expensive cat food. Then they'll care just long enough. Like they always did.
Heart goes out to you.
My condolences. The only non-family to see me shed tears as an adult are the vets who have eased our beloved fur peoples' passing. Losing a kitty who has been with you for years is indeed a loss of a family member.
ReplyDeleteOur last 3 family kitties to pass are buried in the back of our lot where we can see from the kitchen. After appropriate grieving time you will find a kitty who needs you.
_revjen45
True condolences Aesop. We've been there with numerous dogs and one bratty cat. It never gets easier.
ReplyDeleteyou gave her a good life.
ReplyDeleteAesop, sorry to hear that. I've had a cat in my life for the last 45 years and every loss is a gut punch. You mentioned that you were done with cats until this one wandered into your life. I've said the same thing many times but the universe, or cat central, seems to know when there's a vacancy to be filled. When that happens to you my wish is that you're blessed with another inseparable companion.
ReplyDeleteCondolences to you and Isis.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss. All of my cats have come to me by serendipity. One of our barn cats died a couple of months ago after acquiring what the vet said was "bobcat fever." She expired in my lap after a couple of intense spasms, just two days from being so diagnosed. Tillie was a sweet little girl that we pulled from the brink after she had been attacked by some animal.
ReplyDeleteI heard it said once: a home without a cat might be a happy home, but how would you know?
Please accept my condolences as well. Our pets give us a lot and our sadness at their passing is the price we pay.
ReplyDeleteBoat Guy
I watched a video about stone age man. In it there was a skeleton of an adult female with her hand resting on the skeleton of a dog. Mans relationship with animals goes back a long time.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite ancient tome to a pet was by a Roman. He wrote "I carried you up this path as a puppy and with tears in my eyes I carried you back down as my departed friend"
About 12 years ago I lost my Esky cat; shot in the jaw, so he had to be put down since his jaw was completely shattered. I held him while the vet did the needle, and both of us were devastated. He was my pal, my comfort and my nemes
ReplyDeleteIt's only been 12 years, and I still miss that damn cat. He was there when I suffered some heavy trauma, and he got me through it; he meant more to me than most people, and he had more personality too.
For over a decade I've been living in a place where a cat isn't welcome (nor are dogs) but finally I'm moving to Texas, where things are more like God intended them to be. Looking forward to that, and to the next cat that enters my life, to laugh with and at me, and to ease my spirits when I'm down.
You're feeling the loss that I still feel, and I wish you peace and that your sadness is soon lifted.
You never get over the loss of a loved one. The price of a great pet is a broken heart. I hope you acquire a new bud. All the best.
ReplyDeleteShe was lucky to have you and you know it.
ReplyDeleteThe Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
I'm sorry, buddy. I feel your loss.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the empty place in your house.
ReplyDeleteYou never know when the next one will arrive.
Peace.
My condolences, others have shared better than I ever could.
ReplyDeleteThe little boogers promise to tear your heart out every time, and they always do. My condolences. I've lost a few, and it never gets easier.
ReplyDeleteJWM
Always hard losing a friend Brother my condolences...
ReplyDeleteI had two, brothers acquired together from the local shelter.
ReplyDeleteThe Plaintiff had moved out, my kids were week with me/week with her, and, well, that week with everybody gone was kind of empty.
Spencer and Trouble filled it. They slept on my ankles, and, in time, Spencer would curl up beneath my blankets with me, and Trouble on my chest as I tried to sleep.
They, and the two dogs, and the cat my now wife brought into the home, were our "alarm" when I had a GI bleed, as they would not leave my side.
They fixed in place the bat that got into the house (turned out to be rabid. Health department wanted to put them down, and test for rabies. Not only NO!~ but, No Fucking Way!)
Trouble died of an oral cancer that we could no longer control, and to end his pain, I had the vet do the deed.
Two years later, his brother had liver failure, and it would not turn around. He joined his brother, and they both lay in my yard, where the sun shines, where they used to watch the birds and squirrels, chirping, themselves.
You did a GOOD thing, providing a home for this creature. I hope you feel rewarded.
I certainly do.
I'm two for three with cats. Two disappeared after long lives in a comfortable home and were never seen again, one went senile and ended it all under the wheels of my wife's car as she pulled into the driveway one evening. Sorry about your kitty. We love our fur kids and feel for our brothers who lose theirs.
ReplyDeleteI love dogs and cats both, but cats are something else again. Fascinating critters, they are; you can easily see that the Big Cat in 'em still lives, even in the most fluffy, lovey-dovey lap kitty. Nature's perfect predator is never very deeply submerged in 'em. They have a brain the size of a walnut, and every last cell of it gets full use. The old saying is true: we don't own cats, they always end up owning us. Condolences, Aesop; like all the critters we keep as pets, they grow on you fast, and leave a mighty big hole when they're gone.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences.
ReplyDeleteDo what you have to do. We'll be around when the free ice cream machine starts back up.
I understand. Everytime I say no more! Every time a lie. Get better.
ReplyDelete"Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened." My condolances.ej
ReplyDeleteAll veterinarians are pediatricians- the smart ones understand that.
ReplyDeleteIn many ways, losing a beloved pet is the distant echo of losing a child.
Our worst grief is for those who we are supposed to protect from life's pain.
You gave her a home and a life.
You'll see her again, in time.
Sorry for your loss. Animals with any personality (mainly dogs & cats) most definitely become part of your family, and it hurts when they are hurt or sick, and more when they die...so you have my sympathies. Try to remember the good times, and the fact that you gave your cat a much better life and a lot of love that it would never have gotten but for your initial and continued kindness.
ReplyDeleteJust supported my girlfriend through her loss of a beloved cat. I can understand how you must be feeling.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite cat was also someone that showed at my door and let me know that he was now living here. Major Moesby, the grey ghost.
My cat came to me in a similar way. My landlady is a big wheel in the local Humane Society. One day she came to me with a well practiced sob story. They had cleared out a colony of feral cats at the local fairgrounds, and had one kitten left. The usual foster families were full, and Fred would divorce her if she brought another cat into the house (they already had half a dozen). Would I be willing to foster this kitten for a week or so while she found a permanent home for him?
ReplyDeleteI agreed, and ended up with a companion for close to 19 years.
In the end, diabetes and kidney disease did for him. Near the end, I was his health provider. The kidney disease made him dehydrated, so he wasn't absorbing his insulin properly, so in addition to the twice daily insulin injections, he needed daily subcutaneous fluid injection, which I did every day before I went to work, and after I got home. Since he still had the big 5 (eating, drinking, getting up by himself, not incontinent(trying to use the litter box, even if not always successfully), and not in obvious constant pain and discomfort), I figured I owed him every chance, and inconvenient though it was, the cost was only a couple of hundred dollars a month, so I persevered.
Eventually I came home from work (after a night shift)to find him staggering around near a puddle of puke. I rushed him to the vet, suspecting that he had thrown up shortly after I had left for work, having given him his insulin, and so, had low sugar. Turned out his kidneys had finally got to the failure point, so when the vet called, I got out of bed, and went back to the vet to hold him one last time while she gave him his release.
I still miss that cat, pain in the ass that he was at times.
So I understand and am very sorry for your loss.
all the best...
Paul from Canada
As a fellow cat person, you don't have to bleg for sympathy from me--you get it free of charge for taking care of her for 8 wonderful years.
ReplyDeleteWe had went from 7 to 4 in about 18 months, but are back up to 6 because two kittens + mama showed up at Daughter's BIL's house. They kept mama, but the kittens needed a home. Bothersome little buggers, but only a couple of things have been broken so far.
You'll probably have another find you soon enough, and bring you back that piece of your heart you've just lost.
I'm late to offer my condolences, Aesop. I've been through this several times, and it never gets easier. Which is good; I think if it was easy, that'd be a warning sign of being psychotic. The two cats sharing our lives now are both seniors (12 or 13 yo). Words are inadequate, but I feel the pain reading your words.
ReplyDeleteBe well.
Sorry to hear that mate. Our animal companions are family and their departures are painful. Take it easy. Lots of people are thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteFirst you tell the fuzzy little [redacted] you're going to take him out to play on I-5
ReplyDeleteThen, somehow he's down-graded to El Camino Real.
Then you're replacing all the door knobs to keep the floofy jerk from getting out into your quiet cul-de-sac.
And then he breaks your heart.
My condolences on your loss, Mr. Aesop.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I too am enjoyed by two red tabby tigers, one male and one female. They truly become part of the family, they are never in a bad mood, they don't care what you say or how you say it. I have been through the grieving over the loss of a cat 4 times and it is hard...I always found the best way to get over grieving is to get another kitten...
ReplyDeleteSorry for the loss of a family member,and feel like it or not you will have another one find you when you(mostly they) are ready,cats are like that.
ReplyDeleteI do understand the lack of hair being convenient but feel as I did you will come to miss it,till it is back!