Milk That Cow For All the Blood It's Got...

h/t Dianny at Patriot Retort

image © Patriot Retort

I don't have TV. By design, for going on 18+ years. I have a TV, but it's hooked up to BD and DVD players, not broadcast. I've missed commercials and the blathering blowhards like I miss cholla cactus in my underpants. I can catch bits and pieces from YouTube and streaming if I care, but it's a rare year I can find two programs to give enough of a crap about to buy the season next year, on DVD, and eliminate the twenty minutes of ads per hour of broadcast.

But last night was dinner out at the local steakhouse, and with the owner off for the night, the 'tards running the joint had elected to tune to Communist News Network's set-piece flogging of the NRA, live from Florida.

And starring a bunch of kids who, combined, couldn't get to 100 IQ points, and Sen. Marco Screwyoubio, demonstrating Reason Number 307 of Why He's Too Stupid To Ever Be President, and who also couldn't come up with 100 IQ points.

So in that respect, at least, it was a fair fight.

The Genius Of The Night award was some dear little Junior Snowflake, asking Senator WhatthefuckamIdoinghere whether he'd promise to refuse any campaign cash from the NRA.

WTF has managed an A+ rating from the NRA (clearly, they grade on the curve), and wrangled some $3.2M from pro-gun sources.

So, a few points:

1) First off, anyone jackassical enough to show up for an NRA lynching, hosted by CNN, has shit for brains. But we're talking about Marco Screwyoubio, so I repeat myself.

2) The setting, which is pure emotionalism, is intended to put (or rather put up) a bunch of hand-picked water carriers for CNN's anti-gun agenda, in the fluffy bunny suit of recently traumatized teen-agers.
That sort of horseshit's got to go from Minute One.
So the first thing Sen. WTF should have said is
"You all want to act like adults, and be listened to like adults. Fair enough. I'm going to treat you like adults.
So when you say stupid, childish things, I'm calling you out for being stupid and childish.
When you make false statements, I'm going to call you out for your ignorance.
When you repeat them after being corrected, I'm going to call you out for deliberately lying. This is how adults are supposed to be treated, and how they're supposed to conduct themselves in front of other adults.
The first time you start booing that kind of response from me, and behaving like a bunch of baboons with a microphone, I'm calling you on that, too.
The second time, it happens, I'm walking out, and you can sit here and stew for all I care, because you can't control yourselves and act like adults, and I'm not going to be hostage to a pack of baboons playing on pathos and sympathy.
We'll either have a rational discussion, and we'll all behave as grown-ups, or your time out will be the entire rest of my term in the Senate.
Tonight's course will be pass-fail.
Do we have a deal on that?

3) Then, when CNN tried to hand-pick the students, he should have told them
"No, it isn't going to work like that. Every student who has a question to ask is going to get a piece of paper on which they'll print and sign their name to. Every. Last. One.
Then those namess are going to be folded closed and put in a hat, and the student body president - where are you? - is going to pick the folded names out at random, one at a time, and we're going to go on like that until you're done, or we're out of time. And I'll stay here after the cameras are off to answer any other questions that don't make it on air.
That's the deal, CNN, and it's either do this fairly, or I'm done, and you can talk to yourselves all night.

But as noted, Marco wasn't that bright, and so instead we were treated to a hand-picked cadre of dues-paying little knee-jerk progtards, telling whoppers, and getting their spew all over the place like kids with a can of silly string. And Marco tried to basically shuck and jive, mostly failing, but playing an excellent Washington Generals to CNNs Harlem Globetrotters.

When he was asked about shunning NRA funds, he should have answered,
"NRA money comes from NRA members, and they have a right to donate to whomever they support. Ask your teachers if they'll stop giving 95% of their donations from their teachers' unions to my opponents, and see what they tell you.
If they were honest, they'd say the same thing I said: everybody has a right to donate money to candidates they support. We call that free speech and free association. If your teachers are doing any good, you should have heard about it in civics class.
The reason we have it is so that no one, including you, gets to dictate what positions and what candidates anyone else supports. If you can't understand why, you fail at civics understanding, and you'll be failures as Americans.
People just a little older than you have fought and died to keep America free, so that anyone can say anything to anyone about anything. With some tiny exceptions for criminal threats and such, but absolutely including anything political. The Supreme Court declared that even neo-Nazis had the right to march, protest, and have their say, in the town square, and that was forty years ago, when there were a lot of Holocaust survivors alive who still remembered who Nazis were and what they did.
We aren't the country that tells a group 'Shut up, you have no right to be heard, and you can't support such-and-such position.'
But there IS a country that does that.
My parents are from there, and it's right down Florida State Highway 1, and then about 90 miles due south of Key West.

Anyone who wants to live like that should go there.
You don't understand a thing about being an American if you think like that."

And when he was asked about banning AR-15s specifically, or "assault weapons" generally, he should have said
"That's a retarded suggestion.
We tried it for a decade, and it accomplished nothing. NOTHING. It was a complete waste of time. Like all gun control is. The biggest mass murders in this country's history were done with gasoline fires, and a fertilizer and fuel oil bomb. No guns at all. A terrorist in France killed 86 people - four times as many as died at your school last week - and injured nearly 500 other people, by using a truck. Do you want me to ban trucks too? What about the 9/11 hijackers? Should we ban airliners? Britain has banned everything but rocks and pointy sticks already, and their violent crime rate is soaring. Meanwhile, Florida went from no concealed weapons to full CCWs for any qualified adult, and crime here has plummeted.

Except for one place: Gun-free zones, like your school. Over 90% of all mass shootings in this country ever since Joe Biden introduced the Gun Free Schools Act in 1990, before you were born, have been in gun free zones. And mainly schools, from kindergarten to college.

If your football coach had been allowed to have something besides harsh language to defend himself and other students last week, he'd probably still be alive today, so would a lot of your missing classmates, and the guy shooting your school up would be dead, or in the hospital. And the shooting would have been over much quicker, because he, and any other adult here, including your parents, would have the same rights to protect themselves, and their own children, and everybody else's children, that they have as soon as they get a certain distance away from the school grounds.

It's stupid and it's criminal that you kids have been used as guinea pigs in that failed experiment for nearly 30 years, but the one thing I can promise you is that I'm going to do everything I can to end that stupid idea starting first thing tomorrow morning."

When he was asked about raising the age to own rifles, he should have said
"Okay, let's talk about that. Let's say that 18 is too young to own a rifle. I don't agree, but let's look at doing that, because that's what you want.
But you know what kills more of your classmates every year than all the school shootings ever, everywhere, in history?

Alcohol and cars. Especially together.

Alcohol is already illegal for you kids, but you and I know that some of your classmates drink all the time. Some of them drank before they drove here tonight.
So we've been far too lenient on that, too.

So, show of hands, how about we make it an adult felony for a minor to be caught with alcohol?
How about we lock your parents up - just like with guns - if they let you get your hands on alcohol?

And two tons of car is far too dangerous and deadly a weapon to trust anyone with at a young age. So let's raise the driving age to 25. Because that's how old you are when the part of your brain where common sense lives grows in. Don't believe me, ask the auto insurance companies why they drop rates for drivers once they hit that age.

So you can all ride the bus, and not drink, until 25. Who's with me? Anyone?
Beuller? Beuller...? Ferris Beuller...?

And fair is fair, since you can't be trusted to drink or drive, let alone own rifles at that age, despite millions of kids who do both and abuse none of them, we're not going to make you register for Selective Service at 18 any more.

In fact, we're not going to let anyone join the military before 25 from here on out, because they're too immature and irresponsible. We can't be giving 17-18 year-old kids M-16s, and sending them to Iraq and Afghanistan any more then we can let them buy them in Miami, right?

And since you're too immature at 18 to own a rifle or fight in the military, we're not going to give you any college loans until you're old enough to register for Selective Service either.
At 25.

But since we'll get a lot fewer 25- and 26-year-olds to sign up for the military voluntarily than we get 18- and 19-year olds now, we're going to have to bring back the draft.
Probably for every last one of you. So from 25-29, you'll be drafted, inducted into the military branch of your choice, and serve a tour in one of the branches of the armed services.
Every. Last. One. Of. You.
We'll find something for the unfit to do.
And if you're a conscientious objector, that's just fine; you can serve your time as a combat medic with the Army or Marines. Or else do the time in the stockade.
Just like Little League, everybody plays.
Boys and girls. Or rather, men and women, because that's what you'll be then.
Because equality, right?

Of course, that'll suck, because a lot of you will get married and have kids yourselves by then (unless you want to raise the marriage age too?...Anyone?).

But at least after you get out, and you're nearly 30, you can apply for a college loan then.
Since the government backs all college loans, and nobody gets one without us, you're pretty much going to be in limbo for another 7-8 years after high school: no military, no college, no cars, and no alcohol.

Practice saying "Would you like fries with that?" a lot.

And all that time, if someone wants to stick you up, carjack you, break into your home, rob you, rape you, kill you, whatever - you can be happy when you're the victim, because then, every crook will know that at your age, you're a safe unarmed target, but at least no one will be able to buy a rifle legally at 19 and shoot up a school.

So, who wants to go with that view of when you're mature enough to trust with serious things?

All or nothing. Either you're an adult at 18, or you're not.
How about it?
All I can hear is crickets out there.

So, does anyone out there have any suggestions about how to go about fixing this that doesn't involve abrogating the Constitutional rights of millions of law-abiding Americans, including your own families, and putting all of them at greater risk for years, just because one of your former classmates freaked out and shot and killed your fellow students? Because the oath I took was to defend the United States Constitution, even from you, trying for all the right reasons to do something to it that no one is allowed to do.
Any suggestions to solving this that don't violate that oath, we can talk about, and we can do, and you'll have my undivided attention and full support. That's what your parents and a lot of other people in this state elected me to do.

I'm sorry people died, as you are. But the solution isn't to throw a tantrum and turn the Constitution and common sense on their heads."

And that probably would've been a big enough dose of adulthood to shut up even the yammering well-coached Libtard harpies, and it would've been over, with the CNN Hindenburg exploding in flames and crash-landing right on live cable TV.

But again, this was Marco WTFAIDH, and he couldn't help but step all over his wedding tackle with both feet, while CNN cued the violins and tugged the heartstrings the entire time, and then wrapped it up with gratuitous anti-gun porn and Trump-bashing frosting.

And it's going to continue, until Screwyoubio takes night classes in the Constitution and common sense, or hires me to write his speeches, or he at least hires someone that's brighter than he is, low though that bar may be.

But it explains why the restaurant was damned near empty for that show.

image © Patriot Retort

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