Blistering Irony Attack Cripples Professor Snowflake

 

(Missoula)University of Montana professor Tobin Miller Shearer, director of the African-American studies program, said he noticed something was wrong right away Thursday morning as he passed the bulletin board in the Liberal Arts building on campus.

The day before, Shearer had posted a flyer outlining a new class he is offering in the spring: “White Supremacy History/Defeat.” 

But on Thursday morning, another sign — designed to look just like Shearer’s poster — had been put up atop his, this one detailing a fictitious course “Black Nationalism History/Defeat.”

Whoever made the new flyer had copied Shearer’s layout, including the font and location of a photo, and changing the bullet points of the course objectives from ones like Shearer’s “Implement and evaluate a project to dismantle white supremacy in the U.S.” to the same line directed at “black nationalism.”

Missouligans for the win.
10 out of 10, you Magnificent Bastards!
Clearly somebody at U of MT was paying attention in English class when they discussed satire and irony, so their suspect list for the inevitable witch hunt should start with everyone who was accepted with AP placement in English.

Professor Tobin (wait...really? A Black Studies professor named Toby? Where's the hidden camera? Wait...he's white?!? OMG, call the Double Irony Police!) Shearer rising to the bait so predictably pretty much insures this is only the first time he's going to be pranked, not the last. I predict students mocking his flyers to the this point

is probable for some good number of years, times every campus in every state.

I wouldn't know anything about that. At Cal State back in the day, any flier on a bulletin board had to have the Official Stamp Of GoodThink Approval on the corner. See if you can guess which blogger you're reading spent the first couple of weeks of his first semester there making an identical rubber stamp out of a big pink eraser with an X-Acto knife, and hammering the bulletin boards at will whenever the need was felt. What I wouldn't have given for Photoshop and PageMaker back in the day when there were pay copy machines at the supermarket, and computer games came on punched paper tape.

Expect the Wizengamot of the U MT Perpetually Offended Harpies of Faux Studies And Diversity Beans to fly in on their broomsticks at the speed of heat to quash this disgusting display of creativity and spontaneous emesis of the GoodThink in play on America's college campuses, at least in a state where there are still more antelope than liberals.

 

If you think this is terrible, and want to spare Shearer the embarrassment of wetting himself in public every day for the rest of his career, you could maybe send him a single adult Depends diapers (please, new only, no used ones) at

Prof. Tobin M. Shearer

U. of Montana African American Studies

32 Campus Drive

Missoula, MT 59812 

 

He's going to need them.

I won't be holding your hand, so if the return address happens to be the college, university, or TV station nearest to you, well, that's just hard cheese, right?

 

Or you could just e-mail him your thoughts at tobin.shearer@umontanu.edu, or tobin.shearer@mso.umt.edu. Clearly, he's got too much free time on his hands anyways.

You can even give him a buzz during Wednesday officer hours 1-3PM local time at
(406) 662-8227. Bonus points if you live in MT, and pay taxes for this sort of state-sponsored nonsense.

Or, you could just remember that the key to things in the near term is local, local, local. And maybe go see what you can find on a local bulletin board - anywhere - that's deserving of some similarly clever mocking.

Everyone should have a hobby.

And those fish in the barrel aren't going to shoot themselves.