Lesson Ten: Avoiding the Angel Of Death
Many of you, at some
point, have had some decent first aid or first responder training. Your
instructor probably went to some pains to impress on you that, like the
alphabet, medical response begins with the ABCs.
I'm sorry, but you were lied to.
In an earlier lesson,
I shared a story about Chad, one of my first instructors. Let me illustrate
what I just said about being lied to by telling you about one of Chad's
minions: Sam. Sam was very quiet man, who spent most of our lectures sitting
quietly in the back. Like a vulture, as it turned out. Chad introduced him
early on as "The Angel Of Death," but he told us not to ask why, we'd
find out soon enough. And how.
During a break
between segments one night early on, the 30 or so of us students were having
coffee and junk food. Sam approached one of the students, led him aside, spoke
to him briefly, and took him down the hall. Sam came back shortly afterwards,
and picked out to two more students. They left too. Our supposed 10 minute
break stretched out, and our numbers dwindled. No one was really noticing this
at first; I was perhaps the 12th one picked.
"COME WITH ME.*"
I followed Sam down the hall, around a corridor, and we stopped about 10 feet
from the building’s supply/copy room. We hadn't been taught much, so I had no
idea what he expected me to do. We hadn't even gotten to first aid kits.
"THIS IS A
PRACTICAL QUIZ – YOU’RE ON," said Sam. I walked up to the door, and laid
out on the floor before me were the first 11 people Sam had led off. They were
laying on the floor, close together. I looked around. Do I see anything unusual" I asked. "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT
YOU’VE GOT." said Sam. I knew
there was a trick, but I couldn't see the trap. I looked up, down, left, right.
It was just a normal copy room. Finally, conscious of time ticking away, I
reached down to check a pulse on the nearest "victim."
As my fingertips made
contact with his wrist, Sam said, "YOU’RE DEAD. LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR NEXT
TO THE PERSON YOU’RE TOUCHING." 10 other casualties and the original
victim softly convulsed in shared snickers. I obligingly lay down and played
dead.
Well, our 10-minute
break stretched into 30 minutes or more. By which time, the daisy chain of
"dead" students extended across the copy room, out the door, and
halfway down the hall. And my experience repeated itself over and over.
As Sam
"killed" the last student, he had us all get up. By this point, the
other half-dozen instructors and assistants were standing at the end of the
hall. "How'd it go?" asked Chad. "GOT ‘EM ALL." said Sam. A
class of 30 bright, serious people wiped out in almost as many minutes.
Sam then explained to
us that the first "victim" had theoretically touched the copier,
which had an electrical short, and been electrocuted. And was still in contact
with it. As each and every one of us walked up, and completed the circuit, we
added to the body count. We, of course, felt stupid. We also learned a valuable
lesson without actually "dying." One which we'd actually been taught
in the second lecture on the very first night, which hadn't (obviously!)
penetrated very well.
The first step in
rendering medical assistance isn't A for airway, or B for breathing, or C for
circulation. It's S.
For safety. Yours most especially.
Go to the Darwin
Awards website, and you can read story after tragic story of someone who died
from stupidity, because he didn't proceed safely.
5 people who climbed down a well to rescue a chicken -- 5 drowned, chicken
recovering nicely. Man who couldn't swim, jumped into river to save person
floating by, both drowned. And so on. Just like us in that copier room, except
we could still laugh about it.
A nurse I know got in
a fender-bender, and her car stopped against the center divider. Ricky Rescue,
First Class EMT driving the other way, saw the accident, parked his car on the
other side of the freeway, and ran across
six lanes of racing freeway traffic. "Hi! I'm an EMT, can I
help?"
The nurse, in pain
from injuries, saw his approach, and said through clenched teeth "NO!
Anybody so stupid they'd run through traffic is TOO DUMB to lay a hand on me!
Stay away!" and she rolled up her window to wait for paramedics. I find it
impossible to argue with that logic.
The most important
thing to do in an emergency is make sure of safety: yours, the victim's, that
of others. You don't want to simply add to the number of victims by becoming
one stupidly. And if you did, who's going to then take care of you?
If somebody fell off
a cliff, make sure the edge isn't taking you next. When a guy is stabbed or
shot, how about making sure the person who did it isn't still hanging about?
Don't touch the car crashed into the utility pole with those sparking wires
nearby until you're sure it's safe. Don't flip the lights on to check for
somebody in that room that smells like...natural gas. And so on.
Fools rush in where
angels (well, except for that one)
fear to tread. Don't be a fool.
Sam isn't out there
waiting for you. But the real Angel
Of Death always has room on the bus
for one more rider.
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