Common Sense Guns Laws: The Time Has Come

The TL;DR idiots will kneejerk shoot themselves in the ass on this, but the rest of you can hear it out.

Dopey DiFi wants to ban BumpFire stocks.

My 2d Amendment position is unequivocally slightly to the right of the guy who has this rec room:

In fact, to be perfectly frank, that guy's a puss, because I see no grenade launchers, recoilless rifles, anti-tank guns, or field artillery pieces. Half-credit for flamethrowers and one measly mortar. Maybe the other things are out of frame behind the camera though, so I'll give him at least passing marks. (But I'm keeping my eye on him. And there better be a damn M4 Sherman tank in the garage.)

But if Dopey wants the Bump-Fire toys to go, my unequivocal response, is to let her have the damned things.

Because they're silly, stupid pieces of $#!^, and anyone who wants full-auto should move to a legal Class III state, and get an honest-to-god full auto, because everyone knows that's the best way to turn money into noise and smiles, rather than those jackassical bump-fire abortions clapped onto a decent firearm that wasn't hurting nobody.

But for 80 effing years, the Leftards' mantra is that we troglodyte gun-owning real Americans should meet them in the middle on gun laws.

For 80 years, to the Leftards that's meant "That which is yours is mine, and that which is mine is mine". We give and give and give and give (and by we, I mean spineless shitbags in both the NRA and Congress, who should have, on the spot, been set on fire while alive, and the flames beaten out with axes, picks, mattocks, and running chain saws, and then we should have gone after their families) and all we get is starting 20 yards deeper for the next round of "meeting in the middle".

So for this once, I want a small change in how we do business.
Give Dopey Di her effing Bump-Fire ban.

BUT.

This time, we do a real, honest-to-god horse trade.

Bundle her dimwit bill onto the SHARE Act, currently languishing in presumptive purgatory until it dies, after the events in Las Vegas this past weekend. Slap them both into one bill, and make it all-or-nothing. If either half dies it all dies. And amend it so that if any part of it ever gets amended in the future, it all dies.

No more jackassical $#!^ sandwich something-for-nothing our Team Fucktard folks keep handing us (and then wondering why we want to slap them on the back - with a machete).

The dipshits get something they want (which ain't, frankly, a helluva lot, but they picked this hill to die on) and we get something we want: making suppressors as hard to buy as a spare magazine, or a new accessory rail for your AR. Kicking the BATFE ding-a-lings right in the nuts. And undoing the first brick in the silly-ass NFA.

You do that, and I'll cheer when every swinging Richard in Congress votes it all up, or all down.

They do that, and I'm down for it, baby. DiFi can stop people from f**king up a perfectly good rifle, and those of us who know what's what can go shooting with a can, and not need Mickey Mouse Ear hearing protection.

And you let them know that's how it's going to be from here on out.

Next time they want something, we're taking out the "no new machineguns" provision in the 1986 Volkmer-McClure Act. Forever.
Want something else, the 1968 GCA is going down in flames.
Three bites at the apple, and the NFA of 1934 is repealed in toto.

Choose carefully, Lefty lunatards. No more one-sided duplicity, or getting stabbed in the back by "our guys".

From here on out, once we've bought a guy off, the sonofabitch stays bought, or he gets taken out at the knees.

Say, Dopey Di, I hear you also wanted to go after trigger cranks?
Hey, sure, no problem. We'll just repeal the "new MG ban" in Volkmer-McClure at the same time.

You get these:

We get these:

Complete with the selector that goes from "No" to "Yes" to "Fuck yeah!"

Did I forget to mention what happens at the fourth bite?
Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives goes from federal agency to one-stop department store, by act of Congress. And we'll be starting with US military surplus.
Uncle needs the money, and WTF good is restored/recreated PT boat if you can't put live twin .50s, a 20mm Oerlikon, and live torpedoes back on that bitch?

The Coast Guard will get over it after the first safety inspection, and wait'll you see the waiting list we're gonna have for the first cartel drug smuggler submarine hunting trips out of San Diego, Galveston, and Miami. It's gonna be yuuuuuge!

Because if you SJW idiots want women in combat, Congress will start re-issuing Letters of Marque, by lottery, on a one-for-one basis with female Ranger grads.

You want to give citizenship to Dreamer kids?
No problem. Let me show you the organizational TO&E of the new American Foreign Legion: American officers, and foreign recruits. Six years faithful service in the Legion, pass the ESL and American History tests, and you get an American passport.

What's that? You wanted women in the Dreamer program too?
Why sure; we'll issue those Letters of Marque for them on a two letters for one recruit plan.
Or, we can go back to one-for one, but we eliminate the "anchor baby" misinterpretation from constitutional citizenship, forever.
Your choice. We're nothing if not reasonable.

You want single-payer health care?
No problem. But only as an option, competing in the marketplace with private insurance.
In return, we remove abortion and marriage from the purview of federal courts (Stop spluttering and flapping ma'am, you'll have a stroke; it's all perfectly legal Senator, check your Owner's Manual), revoke Roe v. Wade and gay marriage via the black-robed legislature, and put it back in the states in perpetuity.

And by the way, since y'all seem to think that NICS background check is no infringement on the Second Amendment rights of gun owners, we've decided to expand it to all 50 states and seven US territories: just slap your ID down, verified by the database as legitimate, get a thumb print scanned, and you can go vote for whoever you like, just like when buying a gun! You liked it so much before, we figured you'd love seeing it enshrined in the Voting Rights Act forever.

The term you're looking for, Madame Senator, is quid pro quo.
No more quid pro stercore .

And if you don't take that deal?
We're going to start kicking folks out of the party, and primarying them out of Congress, and then your side will be stuck with John McCrazy, Lindsay Grahamnesty, Marco Foolio, Bitch McConjob, and Quisling Ryan.

Dick around after that, and Rush Limbaugh is the new White House Chief of Staff, Ann Coulter will be the new AG, and Sean Hannity will be the White House Press Secretary.
And we're bringing back Steve Bannon, to be the head of the RNC for the next few years, until Kurt Schlicter is ready to take over the job.

The first order of business will be to issue lifetime national federal CCW permits with Social Security cards to every citizen who registers for Selective Service, and passes the criminal background check, on their 18th birthday. We'll be citing the Second Amendment as the authority for that.

Somebody get a doctor! I think Senator Dopey Di is having a stroke!

ROWYBS, bitchez. America is back in style.