Forget "October Surprise". Try "November Miracle".

In the entire history of Major League Baseball, there have been, to date, over 220,000 official games. Despite that plethora of examples, in no season ever recorded has any team won every game by a come-from-behind victory rally in the bottom of the ninth inning, by getting just enough runs to win every single time, in every single game of the season, and then gone on to win the World Series in exactly the same way.

And then, on the other hand, we have Democrat candidates in biennial elections. And it just keeps happening, over and over and over. (Kirk Gibson, eat your heart out.)

It first happened in 1960, when the Daley Chicago political machine "found" just enough previously-undiscovered ballots late on election night to swing the entire state of Illinois, and secure a JFK victory over Richard Nixon. (Yes, it was that ham-fistedly obvious to the entire country, even back then.)

But those were gentler times, and Nixon didn't want to put the country through the crisis of a questioned presidency. In a double-karmic epic blunder, Nixon gave George McGovern the electoral drubbing of all time in 1972, and yet lost it all because his idiot minions broke into the DNC offices at the Watergate Towers, not realizing they and the GOP had the election in the bag by Labor Day after 7 years of LBJ's war, and chose loyalty to their minions over common sense, and turned the whole affair into a massive criminal enterprise. Easy come, easy go.

But even that pales in comparison to a Democrat Party now that inexplicably can lose almost no election. The voting machines always fail. The video cameras quit. There are sudden 3AM spikes in 100%-pure vote batches, in every key precinct, and city, and state, and it just keeps happening over and over and over. And Democrats win. Every. Single. Time.

Mirabile dictu!

Which of course, is Trump's fault. Because Americans, who keep flocking to his rallies in numbers that shame Superbowl turnouts, month after month, two years after he left office, obviously hate Trump so much, they magically vote for Democrats in droves.

Hard to believe? Just ask the Democrats.

Independents too. In batches of ballots that magically come up 100%-0. It's the damnedest coincidence in recorded history. Statisticians are jumping out of windows as silly things like mathematics are disproven daily. Democrats could win at craps in Vegas by rolling endless sevens. With only one die. They're that good.

Democrats are so fervent, it seems, they are packing 400 to a single apartment to vote for their party, in state after state. People in comas vote Democrat. Even the dead rise, and cast votes. In several states, the highest Democrat demographic is voters over 120, who turn out year after year, and vote a straight Democrat ticket. The dedication is incredible. No, really.

Miracles like this haven't been seen so regularly since Moses And The Red Sea Pedestrians was playing two shows a night at Pharoah's Palace.

So surely, this sort of serial conga-lines of anomalies must be a sign from no less than Almighty God who (along with a numberless heavenly host) must also be voting Democrat, in every precinct, county, and state. Praise be to St. Xerox and St. Kinko, the patron saints of truckloads of thousands of identical ballots, which accidental boxload sightings always start cropping up by August or September in any year with a November election, like manna from heaven at DNC HQ. And whose tender ministrations explain Democrat sanguinity in the face of poll numbers lower than whale droppings at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. And then, suddenly, it all comes out all right. After days of counting, long into the night, days after the polls close. 

And what mere mortal can argue with that?

Clearly, it's another November Miracle.