|"You finger-printed a quarter in the parking meter...?! Shyeah, right."|
So now that the thumbprint on James Barr's quarter allowed the FBI to track down serial hoax-bomber Cesar Sayoc in time for the credits on CSI:Miami, let's note a couple more details.
1) Tom Marvolo Riddle = I am Lord Voldemort
Cesar Sayoc = accessory
2) Guy identifies online with two opposing political parties.
Only is a Republican now, when he's mailing bombs.
3) Trump meme stickers are unfaded in FL sunlight. After 10 months.
And he prints them up...on the printer in his van??
Conspicuous Trump-van isn't torched, despite being in (D)-majority county.
4) Guy lives in a van, because he can't afford an apartment.
But he's got the money to make 10 faux prop-bombs.
And pay for courier delivery.
Then blows more money on unnecessary postage.
Like you do when you're so poor you're living in your van in a parking lot.
And has internet access and a cellphone.
Like you do when you're so poor you're living in a van in a parking lot.
5) But can find obscure non-published addresses for his targets.
5a) Which are recockulously stupid choices.
5b) Who never open their own mail, since ever.
6) Guy can't spell Florida - where he lives - right on the return address label.
7) Is Filipino, but "identifies" as Seminole.
Pop quiz: One of these things is not like the other. Spot the outlier:
Elizabeth Warren (D) - MA identifies as Cherokee
Rachel Dolezal (D) - WA identifies as black
Bob O'Rourke (D) - TX identifies as Hispanic
Cesar Sayoc ("R?") - FL identifies as Seminole
Which one doesn't fit the profile?
Sudoku Bonus: Solve the puzzle above, and make it fit.
Elizabeth Warren (D) - MA white, identifies as Cherokee
Rachel Dolezal (D) - WA white, identifies as black
Bob O'Rourke (D) - TX white, identifies as hispanic
Cesar Sayoc (D) - FL Asian, identifies as Seminole
8) Sending out bombs that you know won't explode, ever, does what, and for which party, two weeks before election day?
Rich old Arab sheik is dying, calls his two princely heirs to his bedside, and tells them, "You must race each other around the boundaries of my lands. The one whose horse crosses the finish line last shall inherit my lands and fortune."
They stand there, immobile.
The sheik's wise old advisor whispers two words to them, and suddenly they both jump on their horses, and tear like hell across the desert.
What were the two words whispered?
9) Left wing bomb throwers include, literally, everyone. Sacco & Vanzetti, the L.A. Times bombers, the IRA, the PLO, Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn, the SDS, and on and on.
Name five right wing bombers, since ever.
10) I'm still waiting.
11) Why go batshit nuts now? Not two years ago, not a year ago, not even last month amidst the Kavanaugh Kaos. But right now, two weeks ahead of elections.
12) How long after this narrative of "Batcrap crazy right-wing Trump Supporter mailing bombs to Democrats" went right into the shitter, because no one was buying it, before we suddenly had the obligatory pre-election mass shooting, of a Dem interest group, in a gun-free zone? (Not to worry, this one will be memory-holed in seconds, because it turns out he's a Trump-hating anti-Jew neo-Nazi, which doesn't advance the Liberal Narrative. Just like rabid Bernie supporters gunning down Republican congressmen, it'll be like it never happened. So on to Plan G. Or H. Or I. Or J. "We'll get Trump this time!")
"Don't mind us burning codebooks in the Japanese embassy on Sunday morning, President Roosevelt. We're doing it on a Sunday morning so we don't bother the staff on a work day."
So yeah, looking at all that, it's perfectly logical to assume that all this just happened.
Because Patsy Sayoc is a clueless misguided moron. Which explains everything.
(Including explaining, as noted by several commenters, how the FBI could take 18 years to find the Unabomber, who sent actual bombs and killed people, but grabbed this guy in a timeframe that would put Domino's Pizza Delivery drivers to shame.)
Which moron totally coincidentally decided to pull a massive PR stunt hoax-bomb campaign, right after the serial failures of the Mueller investigation, Kavanaugh sliming, the collapse of the Blue Wave myth, the exposure and backfiring of the Democratic Mob Rule tactics, and the meltdown of the criminal/terrorist caravan from Shitholia, and feeds the narrative that Republicans are the real terrorists, right before the elections.
Like we always pull when three formerly Democrat slam-dunk senatorial campaigns are now either dead heats, or favor the Republican, in a massive shift in the last two weeks.
After the President has held yuuuuuuuuuuge rallies, promising unbelievable turnout of a fed-up conservative electorate, calling for not so much as disturbing a single hair on any crazy Democrats' heads, instead grabbing their cat-lady ranters metaphorically right in the pussy, and kicking their imaginary Blue Wave SJW soi-boys right in their tucked-in crotch.
Pull the other leg; it's got bells on it.