Saturday, October 27, 2018

Inspector Columbo: "Just a couple of more questions..."

And getting back to Lunabomber for one last minute this morning...

Comments here and elsewhere have riffed on the old Freudian "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" line.

I.E., this @$$clown could just be that stupid, and is exactly what the MSM is portraying: A rabid right-wing bomb-mailing wannabe murderer, like all the Deplorables are.

I could see one or two things lining up.

But this is the crime scene in Jack Reacher:

Guy leaves one latent print.

They walk right up to his homeless guy molester van in a metropolis of several million people, and arrest him the next day, like he had a fucking address that said “Trump MAGA sticker-covered van, third row, fourth palm tree from the middle, at 3765 W 207th St” on his vehicle registration, and was wearing a GPS ankle bracelet.

Makes the bombs look cartoonish, yet impossible to detonate, ensuring the FBI has fucktons of surviving evidence.

Does everything but write “Please Open: Bomb Inside” on envelopes.

They get to 12 locations without ever being mailed, but he’s supposed to have sent them via courier. With postage. Like you do.

None of them go to people who open their own mail.

None of them go off, nor could go off.

The media gets invited in by way of getting a couple of their own examples.

Supposedly Republican, waits until we’re liable to have a red wave, then sends devices two weeks before elections, because reasons.

Lights every light on the “not a Republican” list:
living in his van

Lives in such Republican hotbed states as NY, NJ, MN.

Looks like the exact mouth-breathing goober DiFi and Pelosi would hire for the role.

The press conference and talking points are ready to be rolled out in 0.2 seconds after the first one is found.

Brennan calls “GOP”, gets his own bomb the next day.

Soros-spawn gets NYTimes knee-jerk editorial while the final bombs are still en route.
Now come on, anybody could get one or two, but eleventy-nineteen and counting, and this is looking like powerball odds of him being the Democrat Wet Dream Fantasy Football Republican Whacktard Pick Of The Year.

This is like someone panhandling and asking for a sandwich when you’re hungry, and instantly an entire 11-course Thanksgiving Dinner is catered to you on the spot, in 5 seconds, including whipped cream on the pumpkin pie, a personal waiter pouring champagne, and a guy playing violin music while bikini-clad models hand feed you peeled grapes as the appetizer.
While carrying the rifle that’s a ballistic match to the JFK bullets on his shoulder, and holding a postcard of himself on the Grassy Knoll in 1963, holding a rifle.

So yeah, FTR, this could have “just happened”.
And been wrapped up and solved faster than cases on TV on CSI.
Exactly two weeks before the election.



  1. Yep but they must think people will buy it or maybe just another squirrel to distract from another event that they want under the radar...

    1. People will buy it because democrats think we are all like that, bomb makers and mass shooters in waiting. Republicans will buy it as well, because most republicans are retarded.

  2. How long did it take them to track down and find a real bomber in texas? That was setting off "actual" bombs? They sure solved this fake one fast enough.

    1. It's lucky the bombs didn't go off or that AutoZone parking lot would have been cratered like the Moon before anyone even tried to arrest the guy. No (living) suspect means no answers and no motive and then where would we be?

  3. Who is this guy's "Professor Raoul X"?

  4. Richard Jewel comes to mind... That one almost worked.

  5. I’m the guy who called a cigar just a cigar. And I addressed this essay on WRSA.

    Portraying me as a crackhead because we disagree is childish and not an argument.

    I’ll be over there if you want to have a civil discussion as this is your home turf and I respect your right to have it any way you want here and don’t want to come in your house and make a fuss.

  6. my neighbor, who is a died in the wool demoncrat and thinks Trump is horrible, said "the FBI said the bombs were real"! so don't tell me they weren't.
    kinda sad. poor guy.
    but, he's on my watch list for if SHTF.

  7. I am horrified to read of your COMPLETE AND TOTAL IGNORANCE of a SALIENT POINT!!

    Columbo is a LIEUTENANT. Only funny-talking furriners are "inspectors."

    That is all.

    1. What about Inspector Harry Callahan of the SFPD? :)

  8. Has anyone noticed, relative to other high-profile crime suspects, an absolutely astounding amount of information about this guy mere hours after his arrest -- tweets under pseudonyms, photos from highschool, and quotes from everyone the guy ever interacted with, all neatly compiled into reports regardless of media source.
    It's probably just me being unaccustomed to the accessibilty of info in our new digital paradise.
    I have to wonder, is the media capable of this degree of speed, effectiveness, and clarity on every story?

    1. But yet they can't figure out the Los Vegas shooting

  9. In the past the saying was "never attribute something to malice that can be attributed to stupidity/incompetence". That is no longer the case with the media and politics. Now the
    smart money is going to be on willful planning and execution by those with an agenda. The left
    is essentially going for broke. They realize that this midterm could be a make or break election
    for them. If they take the house they can spend ALL of their time creating Trojan Horses o distract
    the public and nonstop impeachment attmptea to keep Trump on the defensive. They KNOW they and
    their deep state accomplices are beyond guilty of crimes that would justify wholesale hangings.
    They must regain least enough power to continue staving off the hangman until the pendulum
    swings back and they retake the White House. If they ever succeed in retaking the Presidency they will
    use that office to insure they NEVER lose their grasp on power again. Tump was an unexpected aberration.
    They truly believed Cankles would in and Trump was just the clown she was going to make look bad. The left
    has a lot of stupid followers, but their leadership aren't stupid and given the chance they will NEVER allow
    anyone else to EVER threaten their grasp on power. If Trump fails to drain the swamp and imprison the army
    of guilty people in the government eventually the left regains power and ends free America as we knew it. The
    Trump administation is a wake up call that they won't ignore. The battle for America's future is under way
    and while many conservatives etc don't realize that the left and the media DO understand that fact. And they
    intend to win he battle an enslave or eliminate ANYONE who opposes them. They can never ever risk another Trump
    sneaking up on them and upsetting their plans.

  10. First off, there are tons of Minority Republicans, thank you. Trump's getting more popular with them every day. And yes, us Red State folks commit felonies too. A couple of my fishing buddies live in their vans, and proudly I might add, and the Catholic priest down the block certainly checks R when he goes into the voting booth. I know you know about exceptions to the rule and painting with broad brushes and all that, but the fact that all those things are on your "not a Republican" list puzzles me. Is it a cumulative score or is each one a definite strike against Republicanism?
    Also, they found the van in an AutoZone parking lot thanks to cell tower pings. Quick work, but nothing in the realm of impossibility. And as to the press conference and talking points, I imagine that at this point in our troubled history they basically have a mad libs style speech prepared for every possible scenario and just plug in the details later. Kinda like how news networks have celebrity obituaries taped and ready to go so we can memorialize them before the bodies are even cold. Just plug in dates and names and you're set.

  11. Kill 59 country-western enthusiasts in Nevada and wound another 500 and the FBI has absolutely dick-all nothing a year later.

    Mail some Democrats a length of PVC pipe stuffed with match-heads in important, east-coast cities and it is solved in nano-seconds.


    1. That's because the See-Eye-Ay doesn't want anyone knowing about Mr. Paddock's side job running guns for them. If Sayoc was in the fold like that, the FBI would have found him hanging inside his van with a pipe bomb up his ass and a freshly typed manifesto.

  12. @Dad29 - Dirty Harry Callahan was an 'Inspector' and he's no furriner.

  13. Some guy who used to guard Cankles found this dude months ago.

  14. You had me at bikini-clad models hand feed you peeled grapes as the appetizer.

  15. @Somebody
    Yes, we disagree.
    No, you're not a crackhead.
    You'll know if I think you're a crackhead, because you'll be standing there, and I'll say plainly, "You're a crackhead."
    Or type it, in plain English.

    But I do not.
    We can disagree wherever you like, and it'll be civil.

    But as is pending release over on WRSA, it is likelier that Elizabeth Warren is an Indian than that this guy is just a nitwit, and this all just happened like it did, two weeks out from an election, after the serial failure of multiple other well-documented attempts to hijack the election narrative.

    The guy who won the billion$ MegaMillions faced better odds than the statistical chance that this is just a nitwit, and all this just happened.

    It is likelier that Brett Kavanaugh tried to molest Chrissy Brassy Fraud, than it is that this is just a nitwit, and all this just happened.

    @Dad29: I chose to conflate Gadget, Clousseau, Calahan, et al, with Lt. Columbo, on purpose. I plead grammatical immunity.

    If I'd wanted Lt. Columbo, I'd have pulled up a pic, and memed him into this.
    He's one of my faves in that respect. Bonus points because I can bring him in as Fred Savage's grandfather from The Princess Bride, Sam Diamond from Murder By Death, or Sam Peckinpah from The Cheap Detective. He's rather the utility infielder of memes in that respect.

    And who knows? Maybe he works in SFPD now, and not the LAPD. ;)

  16. @StarNinja

    You can explain away one of the happenstantial details; well and good.

    When you're up to explaining away as happenstance the other 200, the rug is getting a bit thick.

    That's how you know it's a Persian rug story.

    Hollywood has an inviolable rule called "Double Mumbo Jumbo".

    You can have a story about a talking dog, for instance.
    You cannot, however, have a talking dog, dragons, wizards, and space aliens impersonating Elvis and fighting ninjas with light sabers.

    The rejoinder that fictional scripts, unlike real life, have to make sense is facile knee-jerking, at this point.

    That will explain the talking dog and the dragons. Maybe even the wizard.

    But it's just ham-fisted clue-dumping ridiculousness to try and shovel in the Elvis-impersonating aliens fighting ninjas with light sabers, and try to do it with a straight face.

    That's this story, in a nutshell.

    So no sale.

    Especially on a
    Lazy-eyed mouth breather
    serial arrestee
    fake Indian
    in a molester van
    covered with Trump stickers
    in a liberal county
    sending prop bombs all over the country
    from his secret parking lot lair,
    caught in less than 24 hours by simple police work and a few mouseclicks.

    Yeah, no.

    Dumbledore conjuring the Hogwarts' annual 12 course feast was less magic than that.

    And nobody sane doubts the cinemagical SFX involved in that little moment for one second.

    Telling people otherwise is pretending that brooms can fly, and Quidditch is real.

    1. I would have felt the same way about the guy before I read about Mark David Chapman. You want a man defying sanity and logic to the point that reality seems to be bend around him, I give you Mr. Lennon's assassin. The coincidences and sheer stupid happenstance that piled around that guy was something you could stick right in Hack Writing 101 and no one would bat an eye. Speaking of hack writing, how did you find out about my Jedi Master Elvis goes to Hogwarts 2: Mr. Scruffles vs the Magic Dragon screenplay?

  17. Gab is currently struggling to stay running, as in right this moment, after receiving a deadline from the host service.

    Not sure how many Gab users we have here, but this matters.

  18. The fact remains the guy is a conservative who loved Trump and made devices with the intent to harm, at best, or scare, at worst, American politicians.

  19. He's no more a conservative than he is a baked potato.

    He registered once as a Republican, he's listed both parties on his social media pages, and he's certifiably insane.

    Republican ╪ conservative.
    Ask Dubbya.
    Or the late Sen. McCrazy.
    Or Nixon.
    Or Daddy Bush.
    Or Eisenhower.
    Or Sen. Susan Collins.
    And on and on.

    So you've got a fruit cake who sent faux bombs, in a move that was the worst thing he could possibly do to conservatives in general and the president in particular, short of sending bombs that actually worked.

    How much less of a conservative could he be?
    And please quote the plank in the Republican platform that covers sending bombs.

    I'll wait while you look that up.